


Come Out Come Out Wherever you are (Teenage Love Affair Part 1)

by akinsey606



Series: The The Story of Us. [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-09 11:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7800682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akinsey606/pseuds/akinsey606
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean, Castiel, Jo, and Gabriel each take turns telling you about their life growing up with each other. syarts in high school ends year later. Heavy Destiel</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Intro**

Welcome to Lawrence, Kansas. Population ten thousand three hundred forty one. That’s not including me and my friends. My town is a place where everybody has a smile of their face and love in their hearts. A place you could call home. Everybody is welcome, where everybody knows you and there is no such thing as a secret. At least that is the company line we like to tell tourist. The adults at least I barley talk to the few people I know, why would I want to talk to people who .I will never see again.

To understand you have to know I come from a town that makes our revenue between the months of May and September.  We are in the Midwest and have the best y man-made beaches. We attract a lot of people who are too cheap to travel far. Anybody who comes here feels like this is a place where you can let your hair down, relax, and not be judge, but the truth is; it’s all a lie. Yes I said it, the people here are all full of crap. Everybody judges everybody and everybody has a secret they don’t want to get out. On the outside we are Pleasantville. On the inside we all hate each other and try so hard to keep things to ourselves.

            Now that I have told you about my town, let me tell you about me. My name is Dean Winchester, my friends call me Dean. I am fourteen years old and yes I have a secret, but I’ll get to that a little later. I live in a part of Lawrence that isn’t poor but it isn’t rich either, but we I do go to school with the rich kids. I live in a four bedroom two story house, with my aunt, uncle, and cousin but I have come to think of them as my parents and sister. My little brother use to live here too but he got a scholarship to attention some boarding school in Philadelphia, so he spends most of his time there. He does come home for holidays and school vacations. I love him dearly and will forever choose him over anybody, but this story isn’t about me and him.

            I moved in with family when I was eight years old. See my mother was murdered when I was four and my dad kind of lost it. Who am I kidding, he totally lost it.  Please understand my mom’s killer walked free. Of course it didn’t sit well with him.

So he tracked down the guy and killed him with his bare hands maybe it was a knife. I don’t know my aunt and uncle still won’t tell me the whole story.  Either way he has been in jail ever since. Just in case you are wondering he is severing a life sentence. He has a chance to het paroled but I will be damn near forty when that happens. If it ever happens. 

A lot of people always ask me about my parents but I never tell them. I simply find a way to change the subject. Trust me it’s a lot harder than it sounds. 

Now I know what you are wondering is that my secret and no it’s not, it’s far worse than having a mother killed by her drug dealer and a father that is in jail for murder.

            By now you might be thinking what is so bad that a fourteen year old boy feels he needs to hide, but I just can’t say it. I need to explain everything. For you to understand I need to tell start from the beginning.


	2. Chap 1 Dean

** Chapter 1: Dean **

** September  **

It’s Tuesday morning and my family is sitting around the kitchen table, each taking part in their morning routines. My uncle Robert Singer simply known as Bobby sits at the head of the table reading his Daily News drinking a cup of coffee. My aunt and his wife Ellen sits next to him with a plate of eggs and toast. Their only daughter my cousin or sister as I have come think of her Joanna simply known as Jo sits eating a bowl of cereal. I should warn you, if you ever call her Joanna she would knock your head off. She hates it.  Please don’t ask her why. I learned that hard way. Let’s just I might not be able to have kids.

Back to the ever boring story of my family eating breakfast. I know it sound boring but this how our mornings always went. We are a close family but we just aren’t simply morning people. We value those quiet moments before our day starts. I value them the most especially today of all days. It’s the first day of high school and I am actually nervous. I was up all last night thinking how the next four years of my life would go. I never been a bad student but I never been a great one. I always found myself right in the middle. Not doing great but not doing bad either, but last night I vowed to myself that I would do things different. I would  try my hardest so I could get into a good college. Yeah it might a little early to be thinking of college but hey you got to start somewhere. So anyway back to breakfast.

"Why hasn't your cousin come down yet?" My uncle says as he looks at his watch. I had come down. I had just stepped into the kitchen when he noticed that  I am not there yet.

"I'm not his keeper daddy, but my guess would be he up there making sure he looks pretty for the first day of school." Jo says with a mouth full of food. For someone so pretty, she sure has no class. She is always talking with something in her mouth and nine times out of ten it’s always something sarcastic. My aunt starts to say something but I clear my throat to let them know I am standing behind them.

"Dean honey what's wrong" she asks noticing the worried expression on my face as I headed to the cabinet to grab a bowl. I sworeI was hiding my nerves better.

"Oh nothing Just-"

"Just you're nervous about high school right" she asks with her warm loving smile. Aunt Ellen had that aura about her. She could make anybody feel at ease. Even a death row inmate but don’t let that fool you. She always and will always have a mean side. Lucky for us it only comes out when we were royally screwed.

"Yeah I guess" I said sitting next to my pink haired cousin. I still can’t get over her dyeing her hair pink. She use to have this beautiful golden hair that flowed down her back.  I guess she wants to make a statement too. It’s her first day too. We are only three months apart so we have always gone through school together. Even though she drives me crazy half of the time, I am  still glad she will be right there with me.

"Oh just relax. I'm sure you'll do just fine." Aunt Ellen says as she rubs her hands threw my blonde hair. I have always had a low cut but somewhere in the middle of august I decided to let it grow out more. I figured it would complement my green eyes and naturally tanned skin then have a low cut.

"You should be if you’re wearing that." Jo says as she poured herself another bowl of cereal. My god she eats like grown man. She could eat her weight and then some in food.

"Thanks for the words of encouragement" I said twirling his thumbs.  I said it sarcastically, but I tried to make it sound strong if that makes sense. I don’t want her or anybody else to know I am secretly freaking out..

"Jo, why you can't be nice to Drew" my aunt asks as she rests her head on her hand. If you don’t know by now I have taken a seat at the table. Although I don’t know why I bought an empty bowl to the table, I am too nervous to eat

"I'm just getting him ready for what he is about to walk into." Jo says as if she is all knowing.

"What I am getting into to? You don't even know what you are walking into.” I said pointing at her. I had too. If I didn’t then she would go on longer than what she was about to.

"Yes but I'm a hot chick " she said pointing her spoon at herself “Look here Dean. You're a weirdo, the sooner you accept that the better." I really hate her right now.

“Joanna Beth" Aunt Ellen says as she shakes her head. "Honestly if you can’t be nice then keep that mouth of yours shut.” I want to laugh, say something, or maybe even do both but I know if I do she will snap on me. Plus hearing hea ing her say Jo’s full name is enough for me. She hates her name. Anytime she hears it, her teeth starts to grind. See Jo thinks her name is too old fashion and girly at the same time. She wants to be known as a girl but a sporty girl if that makes sense.

"Oh come on mom I'm kidding" she said blowing a kiss at me. My aunt gave her a look to let her know she was not amused, so she decided to keep her mouth closed. My aunt’s looks can speak a thousand words without even saying something. I love it and fear it at the same time.

 As we all decided to stop talking I sat there thinking about Jo’s words. I wondered if there was any truth to them. Would I get picked on at school? I have always been the total opposite of my cousin. She was everybody's best friend at least I think. She never was for one to tell me if she had a problem in school. She always told me, which I guess she learn from Aunt Ellen. See I usually spent time talking about it and I got into fights at least twice week in middle school. I had always been one of the shortest guys in school which was why I guess I was always was picked on. That was then, but over the summer I grew six inches and was kind of tall now. I went from being five foot two to five foot eight. I also put on some muscle thanks to my best friend Castiel but thanks to me people now call him Cas. Everybody called him that, expect a few people but I will get to that. But me and Cas worked out every day over summer break. Now I dear somebody to say something. I also took up boxing if you haven’t guessed.

 

The sound of the kitchen door slamming knocked me out of my thoughts. “Jeez paranoid much" Jo says eating yet another bowl of cereal. She better be careful, she might start to gain weight. Wait what am I saying, if she gains weight she might take it out on me.

“Hello everyone. I’m sorry about slamming the door. It just got away from me.” Cas says in his deep voice.

“It’s okay Cas but you might of scared Dean. I guess you’re going to have to kiss him to make it better.” She said looking over her chair.

“Hey Cas. Bite me Jo.”

“I would but I don’t want Cas here to get jealous" I had to just roll my  eyes at her comment as I got up to grab my book bag. I was so nervous last night I left my things in the kitchen  so I could be ready to go. Does that makes me dork?

"You do know school doesn't start for like another forty-five minutes and it's like a fifteen minute walk right."  Jo says looking at her imaginary watch.

"Yeah I know but I wanna see Bella before school starts." Bella is my girlfriend if you haven’t guessed.

"Bella, oh my god why are you still with her" she says turning to look at me. I of course was now irritated. Cas of course just stood there hoping he would not be dragged into a ‘What do you think of Bella debate?’

"What's your problem with her now?" I ask

"Nothing I just think that you too aren't right for each other. Don’t you agree Cas?" she says looking at him. I can tell he just wants to be left out of it.

Cas being the person that he is just chuckled at her comment as he hoped to god she would not try and force him to comment about our relationship. I can read Cas. I know him better than anybody will ever know.

"Someone else? Like who?" I ask.  I have to ask her. Jo doesn’t make sense at times. See I don’t get it. At first she liked my girlfriend but in last couple months she had a change of heart.

“Will you get the hell out of my kitchen with this nonsense. Ya idjits ” My uncle says. He really is a  really a nice guy but he just hated nonsense.

"But Daddy it was just getting fun." Jo says in a pouty voice as she got up to leave the kitchen.  I am so glad he said something. Sometimes I don’t know when to shut up.

"See you at school" I sat as I  flasha fake smile as the two of us walked out the door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review. Sorry for errors. i will try and do better. please remember it's a long story


	3. Chap 2

Chapter 2: Dean  
I could have waited for my cousin but I just didn’t want her around this morning. As much as I love her and even consider her a friend I know she would just make things worse for me. Plus I wanted to spend some alone time with Cas before I finally see Bella.  
He and I walked silently for a few minutes before coming up on the playground near my house.   
"Let's walk through the park" he said grabbing me by the arm. I said nothing as I just followed him into the park. As we walked through the park enjoying the fresh morning breeze blow against our faces. He stopped for a minute looking at two squirrels chase each other up a tree. It’s weird that he is so quiet, usually he is always complaining about one of brothers hogging the bathroom or ate the last of something, or how his older brother kept him awake the night before because his company was too loud, but today he is quiet. Yeah normally he is quiet around other people but not me. I wonder what he is thinking. Hold on, why do I care? We’re dudes and dudes don’t do crap like this.   
“Dude, why are you watching two squirrels play?” I ask him this hoping he would tell me what his problem is. Of course I ignore my thoughts.   
"So are you excited to see Bella?" he asks ignoring my question. Typical him I guess. Maybe I should just answer his question so he doesn’t see that it bothers me he ignored me.   
"You bet. I haven't seen her since school ended." I say as I try to fake my excitement. That came out wrong. I am excited to see my girlfriend but not the way everybody thinks. It’s hard to explain.   
"I can't believe you went the whole summer with your girlfriend in another country.” He says looking away from me.  
You are problem thinking how can someone go the whole summer and not see their girlfriend but I did go a whole summer. See my girlfriend’s family is from some town in England and every summer her father sends her there. It’s his way making sure she stays connected with her roots. Well that’s what she says but I think it’s to keep her away from me.   
See my girlfriend just moved here like two years ago and I don’t remember her saying anything about her father shipping her off the summer before. But whatever, I don’t care. It sucks I guess but hey at least I got to spend the whole summer with my best friend. 

"I know it sucks. Her dad sent her to her aunts in thinking that it would break us up or something but jokes on him. We stayed together." I said smiling as he looked in my eyes. Funny as we talk I feel a warm feeling overcome my body. I guess I really do have feelings for her.   
Soon as I finish talking, Cas is back to saying nothing. He just looks up at the sky like he was trying to figure something out. 

We walked the rest of the way in silence until we reached our new school. You know how you watch those TV shows set in High School and get an idea of what it will be like. You know you walk in and see a bunch of beautiful people, dress in designer clothes. It’s a bright cheery place with a bunch of posters all around advertising for different clubs or sports. Well this was nothing like that.  
My new school “Central Lawrence High” was the most depressing place ever. Nobody was standing around; instead it was a bunch of frumpy people trying not to walk into each other while trying to get to class. The walls are a dull grey color that screams kill yourself. As I stand here taking in my new school that I swear was modeled after a prison, I know in my gut that the next four are going to be all but interesting.  
I walk around trying to find my locker alone. Cas had went off on his own to find his own. As I turn a corner I hear my name being called in a loud shriek. 

"Baby!" My girlfriend screamed as she ran and jumped into my arms. "Summer was too long for us to be apart" she said as she wrapped her short legs around my body and kissed me. I held her tight as I carried her over to the locker. I leaned her against the lockers and mauled her face. Kissing her was always an experience. It’s like I never knew how much I missed her until I see her again. You know like it’s exciting to do but if you didn’t have it would be okay too. I hope that makes sense because it’s the only way I can describe it.  
"Damn I missed you" I said as I stopped for air. I could have kissed her longer but I felt my face turning blue.  
"Me too pumpkin" She squeaked in an accent that she didn't have before she left. She must have picked it up over the summer. I hope she keeps it because I find it so sexy.

"Dean, you sick son of a bitch." Cas’s older brother and I guess my friend Gabriel said as he came out of nowhere. “If you are going to dry hump your girlfriend on the lockers you could have sent me a text, so I could have been here earlier.” He said in his playful yet sometimes annoying voice. Things are always a joke with him. If you didn’t know him as well as I did, you would think he was never capable of being serious.  
“Thanks for ruining the mood pervert.” I say as I continue to hold her up. I know I should let her down but I can’t just bring myself to do it. I might not get to see her all day and well I need more time with her like this, but it is trying holding her up.  
“Anytime buddy.” He says saluting me. Jackass.   
"You’re just jealous that she is real and the closest you come having a girlfriend is that magazine next to your bed." I shot at him. I don’t why we always do this. It’s like we can barely have a conversation without taking jabs at each other.  
“I’m not jealous. I’m just surprised. See here all this time I thought that you were lying about her being in another country. I thought she just dumped your ass.”  
"Ok stop" Bella says as I bought her back down to her feet. Bella is my girlfriend if you didn’t know by now. "Gabriel" she squeaked running over to give him a bear hug. "How are you?" she says not noticing how uncomfortable he is.  
"I'm good" he says trying to breathe oxygen into his lungs.  
"Can you believe it? We're in HIGH SCHOOL!" she shrieked grabbing both of us.  
"Honey you are way too loud" Gabriel said as he wiggled his finger in his ear.  
“You okay there Gabe.” Yeah sometime I give him a nick name too.   
“I’m fine, just got this ringing in my ear now.” This might sound immature but I love that she caused it.  
"I'm sorry for screaming" she says as she let go of him as we walked down the hall. "I'm just so excited. We're in high school." she said twirling. "And you know what that means?" she says throwing he arms around my waist and resting her head on my chest.  
"More test" I say as I started to wonder if Cas had found his locker. I wonder what his first class is. I should text him and ask. Maybe we’ll have a couple of classes together.  
"No silly “She said breaking my train of thought on how many classes I would share with my best friend. “Only four more years until college. Then we can be together without my daddy trying to split us up.  
"You know I think I found the reason my cousin thinks I'm a dork." I say laughing trying to ignore her comment about us being together past high school. I do care for her and want to be with her as long as I can but I am not psychic. Something could happen, but I do know as long as I have control over it. I will always be with her.  
"You're not a dork baby." She says standing on her tippy toes to kiss me on the nose. Yes Bella is short. She is only five foot one, but then again I’m not that tall either.  
"You two make me sick?" Gabriel said faking like he was going to barf.   
"Jealous" I said as I kiss her again knowing it bothers him.  
"So honey how was your summer? Did you keep Jo and the boys keep you busy? I know we have talked somewhat over the summer but I don’t think we talked as much as we both would have liked.   
That was a surprisingly load question. Remember when I said everybody in this town had a secret they didn’t want to get out. Well my secret has something to do with the summer. See Gabriel is a year ahead of us and well he dates a different girl every week. I guess that what happens when you are a pretty boy, but I am getting off topic. See since Ryan usually ditched us for some chick that left me and Cas by ourselves. Now usually that is nothing we just hang but, one night we found their older brother Balthazar’s stash of pot. So being the bored teenagers that we were we climb onto his roof and smoked it. I don’t know if it was the pot or a mix of it with the full moon but Cas and I kissed.  
Yes we kissed and it wasn’t a small peck on the lips. It was full on tongue action that lasted for like two minutes. I think our hands might started roaming at some point. But, after we kissed we pretended like it never happen. At least Cas has. I on the other hand can’t stop thinking about it. It was odd but I really liked it a lot. So that is my secret I cheated on my girlfriend by making out with my best friend. Now here it is a month later and at least once a day I think about it and whenever I do a weird warm feeling in my chest comes and then guilt follows and then I kind of want to do it again. But I know it was wrong. Plus I know he probably doesn’t feel that way. He is normal unlike me.   
“We found stuff to do.” I said hoping she didn’t press for details. I am not a bad liar but I don’t like lying either. At least when I can work my way around something.   
"I’m glad but oh no we ran out of time guess you two will have to tell me later." She says looking at the time on her phone.  
"Guess so babe" I say relieved she did not ask for details. Hopefully by the end of the day she won’t remember to ask me. She’ll be too busy talking about today and won’t even care.  
"Bye babe" She says as she jumped up into my arm's to kiss me again causing me to lose my balance but only for a minute.  
"Are you going to do that all the time now?" I ask breaking away from the kiss

"Yes because you've gotten so much better at kissing. I mean you were good at it before but now. How'd you get so good?" she says smiling. Damn it there she goes asking for details  
“I gotta get to class I'll see you later" I said putting her down and walking away quickly with Gabriel who had a smirk on his face. I hate that smirk; it usually means he’s thinking something that will piss me off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any question please ask. sorry for all the mistakes


	4. chapter 3

Chapter 3: Castiel  
They say high school will be the best time of your life but I see as four years of hell. Four years of being reminded at how different I am. Fours to remind me that I am not like my brothers. Both of my brothers are popular and have a lot of friends. All I have are two friends and my brother to get me through these next four years and I am not sure I will be able to keep my one of my friends.  
See my dad is in the military and we moved around a lot, but since my mom died a few years ago, he decided to not up root us and move again. That was three years ago and now I am stunk in this crappy two faced town for the next four years. That’s four years of being stuck with him. When I say him I mean my best friend Dean. We have been friends since my first day of school here four years ago. Yes we have been friends four years but I always wanted to be more than friends for about two of those four years. He has no clue, even after we kissed. In a way I am glad he doesn’t know. I just need to keep it that way.   
At first I thought it was what I felt was normal. I mean everybody loved their best friend right, but then once he got together with Bella I started feeling this ugly feeling pull at my gut. I actually started hating her and if you know her then you know she is one of the nicest people you’d ever meet. But I secretly hate the bitch.   
I have learnt to live with this feeling for two reasons. My first reason is I swore that my father would move us to North Carolina with him, but he didn’t. Since my oldest brother Balthazar is over eighteen he left him in charge, but I never see him. He comes by the house every once in a while to check on Gabriel and myself but then he leaves again. My second reason being I just knew that Dean would never feel the same way, but I was wrong at least I think I am. I don’t know he kissed me over the summer and now all I want to do is kiss him again. We haven’t talked about it and I don’t want to be the one who brings it up. I don’t want to bring it up since I know for a fact I like both guys and girls he just doesn’t know that. Plus I am pretty sure he just kissed me as an experiment or maybe he was high and was imaging Bella. Whatever the reason may be, I have to walk around knowing I can never be more than a friend to him.  
It’s alright though. I’ve gotten pretty good at pretending too. I have somehow manage to make it threw half of day without going crazy. Dean and I have three classes together so far and all he has talked about is his stupid girlfriend who is hard to hate. Luckily I have my brother here with me to tell him to shut up whenever he goes over broad with talking about her. I haven’t told him attraction to both sexes yet but I think he somehow knows. He just gets this look in his eye when he is looking at me and Dean. The look is all knowing and he is okay with it. I should make a point to have a sit down with him some time in the future.   
"Dude please, just shut up already. We get it. You missed her" See I told you. I can always count on Gabriel to help me, even when he doesn’t know it.  
By the way, its lunch time and Dean, Gabriel, Jo, and myself are all sitting at a table together. We somehow managed to end up having the same lunch minus that evil cunt Bella. I have to stop. She has done nothing to me.   
"You know I’ll let that go since you don’t know what it’s like to miss someone” Dean says as he takes a bite out of his chicken wrap. I sit here admiring his features as they go back and forth. It can be tiring at times with them, but honestly I find the whole thing entertaining.   
"Oh see that’s where you are wrong my boy. I know what it’s like to miss someone all the time" Gabriel says before he drinks from his water bottle. Of course he is telling the truth. He is talking about Jo of course. Poor guy has had a thing for her since we moved here, but she never takes him serious whenever he tries to tell her. I just think that is her way of protecting herself.  
"So you wanna do something after school" I quizzed after I grew bored with them arguing about nothing.  
"Sorry dude but I promised Bella we hang out since I haven't seen her since June and plus I figured you be sick of me by now."  
“I know I am” Gabriel interjected.  
"Why?" I asked hoping he’d ignore my brother.   
"We hung out like everyday" he said taking another bite. I say nothing after that. I want to press it but I don’t want to come off weird. So instead I let Gabriel take over the conversation.   
As we sit here listening to Gabriel go down the list of teachers of who we shouldn't piss off. Two Jock looking guys approached our table  
"You think I wouldn’t find out?" the one jock asks  
"While hello there Raphael. My summer was fine thanks for asking" Gabriel says in an amusing tone.  
I can tell my brothers tone throws him threw a loop for a minute but he remembers his angry quick as he lost it   
"You think I wouldn’t find out?" the guy with the ninja turtle name repeats.   
"Why so serious today. Did Miranda dump you again" Gabriel asks as he peels a banana  
"Why so serious? Really you got a lot of nerve asking me that after you hooked up with my girl while I was at camp." The ninja turtle says again as he balls up his fist.  
"That sounds like a personal problem to me." He says with a mouthful of food. “Maybe she doesn’t like the fact that her sixteen… wait are you sixteen I mean you look so much older….Any who maybe she doesn’t like the fact that you went to camp and you’re a grown man.” Gabriel says swallowing his food.  
I can tell this guy is mad. His whole face is starting to turn red and his once brown are now black. I have to give it to my brother; he sure knows how to get under people skin.  
"Gabriel, why can’t you just apologize to the guy so he can be on his way." Jo says. I can see in her face she is hoping he will listen to her.  
"Oh where are my manner's Jo, Dean, little brother meet Raphael and Zachariah our school’s very own personal douche bags" And he wonder ‘s why Jo won’t give him the time of day.  
"You know we are about sick of that mouth of yours” The guy with the Z name finally says speaking up. Great we haven’t even made it through our first day of school and we already are about to get into a fight with upper classmen. Maybe I should consider making new friends so I don’t have to hang around my brother the trouble maker.  
“Look is there a reason for you two even coming over here. I mean it sounds like you sound be talking to your girl." Dean says rightfully annoyed.  
"No one was talking to you freshman" the ninja turtle guy says threating him.  
Dean stood up and got in his face. "Well I 'm talking to you."  
The guy laughed like Dean just told him an hilarious joke, but I know Dean, he’s kind of smart, very good with cars, has sparkling green eyes and very soft pink lips but he isn’t that very funny. Yeah he has his moments but never punch in the gut funny.  
"What's so funny?" I ask taking a spot next to Dean with Gabriel on my other side. I hate fighting but I am not about to let my brother and friend stand alone, even if my brother deserves what’s coming to him. I have warned him to stay away from girls who are in relationships, but does he listen. But in reality I am doing this more so for Dean than my own brother. I feel the constant need to protect him.  
"I think the fact that Gabriel has two freshman body guards is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time." Z named guy says  
So let’s fast forward to after a few insults got traded back and forth, a crowd had begun to gather around to watch the fight that was about to take place. Out of nowhere Z guy sucker punched Dean while he was focused on the ninja turtle. I should point out that I only know the ninja turtles because Dean use to make me watch them every day after school. \  
Okay so once he hit Dean I was furious, I balled up my fist about to swing when I heard some yell "HEY JUICE HEAD" Followed by Jo punching Z guy in the face so hard he fell, she then turned and kneed the ninja turtle in the groin. The two jocks fell to floor while everyone watched the short girl with pink hair stand over them telling them to leave her family alone. The room fell silent as Jo threaten them with bodily if they ever came near them again . I think we all felt equal parts of excitement and fear. We all were afraid to move as we watch her kicked them each a few more times just to make sure she got her point across.  
Finally some teachers came and broke the crowd up. Once Jo and the two jocks were taken away Gabriel turns to a shocked Dean and said “Dude your cousin is soooo hot.”


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Castiel   
It has been thirty-two since the first day of school but it feels more like sixty-four. After that little situation at school things were kind of different. Jo got suspended for a few days and both her and Dean were grounded. Jo was ground for of course fighting and Dean got in trouble for letting his cousin fight his battles.  
Normally I would have been upset that I would get to see my friends that much, but I decided to look at it different. I decided to take the opportunity to get some distance from Dean. I needed to be able get rid of my feelings. That turn out to be a load of crap. Even though I did not see him outside of school, I still had six classes with him plus lunch. Did I mention we have a total of seven glasses on our roster? Not seeing him outside of school only made me miss him.   
It really sucks when you really like someone and you know you can never have them. Especially on nights like tonight. See it’s October and it’s the middle of what some people call Indian summer and I am hanging out with him. We are sitting on my second story deck sharing a Emeryint. We both said we wouldn’t try pot again but I want to see if he will kiss me again if I recreate that night. It’s a long shot but I owe it to myself to try. I know what you are thinking. You’re thinking I’m wrong but if you really liked someone wouldn’t you do the same.  
"All man it feels good to be out the house." He says as he stretches out on one of the lounge chairs. I have to look away because his shirt starts to rise and I can see his bare skin. It looks so smooth and firm. I fight for control to not reach out and touch his hip bone.  
"Nice to have you back buddy" I say as I take a drag from the Emeryint we’re sharing.  
"I cannot believe my aunt and uncle freaked. I didn't ask Joto step in. She came out of nowhere.”  
"She did. I had forgotten she was there. I guess we were moving to slow for her liking." I say as I take a drag.  
"We could have taken those guys you know that right."  
"Indeed we could have." I say laughing. Given the chance I might have hurt them badly. I don’t like anybody messing with Dean even though I’m sure he could hold his own.  
“It’s just annoying you know, getting in trouble for someone else’s stuff. You’re lucky you know that right.” He says as he connects his green eyes with my blue. I can’t help but feel warmth in my face.  
“How so?” I ask as I feel myself tilt my head to the side.   
“It’s just you and you’re brothers. You are living the teenage dream. You have a whole house to yourself and no parents to tell you what to do.”  
“You think this is good thing.”  
“It’s not?”  
“No it is but it can be annoying at times, you know.” I say looking up at the sky. The moon is full and the stars are shining bright. Sitting here with him under them makes me feel like we are having some kind of moment but who knows maybe it’s just me.  
“I don’t know, why you don’t tell me.”   
“Just it’s a lot of pressure. We are able to stay here but we can’t get into trouble and we can’t let our grades slip. Dad said if one of us gets a C then we are coming to live with him.” Wait why didn’t I think of that. I get a C on my report card and he takes me away from him. Who am I kidding I’d still miss him. At least being here I get to be around him. That is better than nothing.   
“That’s not so bad.”  
“Yeah but Gabriellikes to test people. He could get us shipped off at any time.”  
Dean says nothing after that. He has this look on his face like he thinking about what I just said. I decide not to say anything else and just stare at the sky. For a while we just sit here looking up or at least we I think we both are. I am trying to not to look at him and thanks to my brother stash I am able to zone out and just look at the moon.  
“Cool isn’t it.” Dean says breaking the silence. I turn and look at him and he is looking at me with a shy smile on his face. I'm starting to think that we are having a moment but I need quickly push it away. I want to try something but then again I don’t want to freak him out.   
“What is?” Damn it. I am smiling again and this time I know it’s a little too hard. I just hope he is high enough to not notice.  
“The moon, it’s just so big and round and out there.” He says looking up again  
“You realize that is the beginning to the song Big Butts.” I say with a chuckle  
“Is it.” He says with a laugh.  
“Yeah.” Yeah he says Emeryining in.   
“Wow I just compared the moon to a big butt.”   
“Hey nothing wrong with them.”  
“Well when you think about it’s a good comparison.”  
“True.”  
He goes silent for a minute and just stares at me. Some would feel uneasy with the intensity but I welcome it. I welcome it because it gives me hope.  
“You know LukeI was thinking.”  
“Thinking about what?” I asked a little to eager. I should calm down. HE isn’t thinking the same thing.  
“Well-”  
Ring Ring Ring Ring   
Damn it. Just when things are starting to look up his phone rings. My luck it will be Bella calling.  
“Just a minute” he says as he take the phone out of his pocket "Hello"   
"Deanwhere are you?" It’s Jofrom what I can tell. He really needs to turn his phone down I can hear her somewhat really clear  
"I'm with Luke. Something wrong?” He asks looking like he was hoping he didn’t have to leave.  
"You mean other than the fact that you have been grounded for a month and the day you get off you spend it with Lukeinstead of your annoying girlfriend."  
"Bite me Emery. Is this what you really called for?"   
"Isn't that Bella’s Emeryb or maybe you preferring Luketo do it?" I have to laugh to myself. I would bite him if he ask. I’d bite pretty much anywhere he wanted and then some. I have to stop because I am getting a little too happy if you know what I mean.   
“I’m hanging up now?”  
"Dean wait?" She says  
"Tell me what you want or I'm hanging up." Dean barked as his irritation grew.  
"Mom and Dad aren't home yet so you still have time to get home before you are caught out past curfew."  
"What are you talking about I don't have to be in until 10."  
"Dean its 10:30"  
Wow I had no idea it was 10:30. Last I checked the time it was eight and I swear that was a half hour ago. Guess time really does fly when I am with him.  
"Shit really. Okay I’m on my way.” He says jumping up and hanging up his phone  
“Wow we talked all night." I say trying to poke fun of the situation but I really wanted to point it out hoping he gets what I mean.   
"Guess we did." He says as I stand up to meet his gaze..  
We stand there look into each other eyes, saying nothing. My body goes on auto pilot and I take a step forward.   
"I had a nice time. Thanks for coming" I say as I noticed he hasn’t back up from the lack of personal space. Our bodies are almost toe to toe but I need him closer. All I have to do is take one more step.  
"Yeah it was cool." He says in a dry whisper.   
I stand there as I slowly move my arm and touch the side of his face. He doesn’t pull away as I slowly caress his check. His breathing starts to pick up pace as I rub small circles on his check.  
“I had a really nice time Dean. I really like spending time with” I say as I place my other hand around his waist. He still doesn’t step away.  
“Me too” he says. Although you can barely understand him. I think he is at a loss of words.  
We stand there for a minute looking into each other. A wave of warmth comes over me threw his body.   
“Umm Luke” he finally says in a low whisper.  
“Shhh” I say I pull his head close to mind. Our lips are mere centimeters apart as out forehead touch. I could stay like this forever but I want to see if he will let me go all the way.   
Our lips finally met for the smallest chaste kiss Ever. I pull my lips off of him as our forehead touches again. I start to go for it again but this time I want to use tongue but his phone starts to ring again.  
“Shit” he says breaking of the trance and jumping back a few feet. The word disappointed would be an understatement. "That's Probably JoI better go" Dean says before he practically runs off my deck leaving dust in the wind.


	6. chapter 5

November Chapter 5: Dean  
I kissed him again. What is wrong with me? Boys don’t kiss other boys. I need to cut this out before I lose a friend. I really need to get over this. What was I thinking? Maybe it was the full moon mixed in with the pot. Yeah that is it, that’s all it was. I just need to never smoke pot again and I’ll never do that again. Yeah that’s it, but why can’t I get him out of my head. Whenever I close my eyes I see his and Bella’s face before I go to sleep. I just thank god that I haven’t had any dreams about him. If I did then I would be able to look at him  
I’ll just push thJo out; I mean is obvious that, I’m the only one who feels that way. He only kissed me because he was picking up on my vibes and he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I mean, yeah well yeah, that is why he hasn’t said anything to me about it. He was just being a good friend. Plus he has red rose in his hand. Wait why does he have a red rose?  
"Why are you eating lunch with a flower?" I had to ask. I tried not to ask to obvious but I think Gabriel picked up on it. God I hate him sometime. He is just sitting there with a stupid smirk on his face.  
“Oh how sweet. You bought Dean a flower.” Gabriel jokes. He is such a dick.  
“Cas bought Dean a floor.” My Jo says as she sits down at the table. “Oh how sweet. I always knew there was something between you too.” Great now she is doing it.  
"Ha ha very funny you two. This is not for Dean, it’s for Meg." Cas says in a serious tone. I really love it when he talks like that. It’s kind of cute. Dear god I need to be stopped. What is wrong with me?  
Meg that stuck bitch. I know it’s wrong to call to girl bitched but she is the exception. She always has something ignorant to say and thinks she’s smarter than everybody. She hardly is, Jo and Bella are way smarter than she thinks she is. I swear she is really a dJoon.   
"You have a thing for Meg. Meg Maters" I have to say something. I don’t care at this point how it comes out.   
“I think that’s why he has the flower.” Gabriel says. He is such an asshole. I have nothing to say to him. I just give a look telling him to shut up. Of course that will last about two minutes   
"Yeah” he says as if I should have already known. This gives me more reason to push whatever I am feeling deep down.  
“Why? She is stuck up.”  
“No she isn’t. She is in my Bio class and just happens to be my partner.” Again with the serious matter of fact tone.   
"You ever think she’s only being nice because you’re good at science and she isn’t”  
“She is pretty smart herself”  
“Is she really”  
“Dean, what does it matter? Are you jealous because you won’t be the only one with a girlfriend.” Jo says in her mother hen voice. She always has to make me feel stupid.  
"I’m just trying to look out for my friend." I say a little too defensive. At this point I don’t care. I don’t want him talking to her.   
“Hey, I’m his big brother and if I don’t have a problJo neither should you.” On what earth is he the big brother? Him and Cas are the same height. Plus Cas is more mature than him. I can’t tell you how many times I forgot that Cas was the younger brother.  
"I intend too." Cas says as he gets up from the table. Jo had said something to him the same time I was talking to Gabriel.   
Meg was standing by the Jopty vending machine talking to one of her friends. HE approaches her like he is nervous. I can’t believe it. He is nervous the Cas I know is always calm and in control. I don’t know what he is saying to her, but she actually looks like she is interested in what he is saying. Stupid bitch.   
“Looks like it’s working out.” Jo says as I feel like I want to punch somebody. God I don’t understand why I am acting like this. I should be happy for him. I really should, I mean she is kind of hot but all I want is for him to fail.  
“Yeah, looks like Cas gone be getting the girl. Oh snap.” Gabriel says as he actually snaps his fingers.   
“Why are you even here? Isn’t there people in your own grade you could bother or do they all want to kick your ass.”  
"Ummmmmm” he says as he points then places his finger on his cheek like he is thinking hard about it. “There are but I rather be with my friends with you and hang with my little brother and this vision of beauty" he says pointing to Jo. “You know I’d buy you a dozen dozen roses if you let me.” God he is corny but it looks like she likes it. I thought she was smarter than this.   
She just smiles as I foamed at the mouth. But this time because he is hitting on my cousin in front of me. I told him a few months ago she was off limits. All he does is uses girls and he will not do that to her. I refuse to let it happen. I know she is smarter than that but I believe after a while even she would say yes. Just because she blushes whenever she hears his name.   
"Stay away from her." I say in to him. Yeah she may act like she can take care of herself but I am still going to look out for her. I don’t care if we argue about it late, which I know will happen because she is giving me the I will kill you look.   
"I can handle myself." But of course she snaps on me now and not the pig sitting next to her. What is she trying to prove.   
“Yeah Dean. She is a big girl. She knows what she wants" he says sticking out his tongue. Again I hate him right now.   
“You’re right about that and it’s not you. I have too much self-respect.” She’s lying. She might not have said it too me but I can tell she likes him too.  
“Oh snap.” I say returning his sarcasm. It feels a bet weird.   
“Cassie sure has been over there a long time.” Gabriel says changing the subject. His energy has actually gone down in the last few second. Guess Jo got to him a little. Sucks, but who cares. He kind of might be my friend but I still will kill him over her.  
"You think she said yes?” I ask knowing full well she has or is going to. I know because she hasn’t stop smiling since he has been over there. I am secretly hoping she is turing him down with a sick sense of humor.   
"I think so.” Jo says as she looks at them."

Lunch goes on and Cas hasn’t returned. He actually spent the whole period talking to her. About what, I have no clue. The guy really isn’t that interesting or funny. Although you’d think he was a damn comedian the way she was chuckling and turning red. What the hell I thought he was just asking her out and coming back to sit with us.   
“Hey guys.” Cas says as he finally returns to us. It’s like two minutes before lunch is over   
“Hey how’d it go.” Gabriel asked a little too excited. Did I mention that he gets on my nerves?   
“She said yes and she invited all of us to her cousin party right out of town. It’s right off the University of Kansas campus.” He says a little too excited.   
“The University of Kansas! How the hell are we going to get there? It’s thirty to forty minutes away by car.” Jo says. I can always count on her to be the voice of reason. Like I would actually go to a party she invited us too.   
“Don’t worry about it. Leave it to us.” Gabriel says as the bell rings. I have no idea what he mean. Cas just gives him a nod like it’s all good.   
“I just got off of punishment; I’m not getting back on.” Jo says trying to be reasonable. She is trying to be reasonable while they are just blowing her off.  
“I’d never do anything to hurt you or get you into trouble.” Gabriel says with a double meaning behind it. He is just saying that to shut her up and she is buying it. Unbelieveable.   
“Alright we’re in.” she says.   
“Okay good. Now I’ll see you guys later. I’m going to walk Meg to class.” He says as he runs back to meet her. Seriously.  
I can’t believe it. Not only did Cas ask a girl out but she invited him to a party that she turned around and invited us. Plus JO said we both with go and we have no idea on how we are getting there. I know once I tell Bella she’d want to go. Today just turned out to be an awful day. But hey on a good note I am going to a college party with my friends and girlfriend. Should be fun, right? Yeah right this party is going to suck.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Dean  
" Dean are you going to stand against the wall all night."   
I am the party that Meg invited us to. An actually raging party with booze and all I can do is stand against the wall and watch my best friend make out with his date while my girlfriend bitches I am no fun. Its official I have become some sort of creepy weirdo who does nothing but stares at his best friend.   
I swear watching them make out is disgusting but I can’t look away and it’s not the type of making out you see in movies. It’s the creepy kind where there hands are all over each other’s body as she straddles his lap and if I listen close enough I think I can actually hear them making sounds. Fucking gross man. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I was watching the beginning of a porno.  
Okay now I know I can hear moaning coming from them. I can’t be the only one disgusted by this. People are really just walking by not saying anything. Does this always go on at college parties? Is there always that couple who grind on each other and nobody cares? I bet they will when their clothes start coming off. I bet they will care when his bare smooth chest is showing and she is running her hands over them feeling the warmth of his skin on hers. I bet then she’ll put her lips on his neck and slowly work her way down to his pants.  
Okay I have to stop. I was just fantasying about him. I was fantasying about his naked body. That can’t be normal. I was just thinking about what he would feel like when I touch him. I’m sick. I really am sick in the head. Who does stuff like this? I can’t handle this. I need to be smacked. Damn it, where is Jo when you need her. Of course she ran off somewhere with Gabriel trying not to like him. Lucky bastards. I bet they don’t have problems like I do.  
"Are you even listening to me?”   
“I’m sorry what?” I ask Bella. I actually forgot she was standing here for a second. What kind of boyfriend am I mine. I can’t be forgetting about my girlfriend, especially one as hot as mine.   
“You’re not listening to me.” She says with cutest little pout. See this is what I need to focus on. I need to focus on her. I just need to always remind myself of her and all will be good.  
“I’m sorry babe. I was too distracted by the show over there.” I say as I point to Cas and Meg, but they weren’t there anymore. Where the hell did they go? Did they sneak into a room somewhere? Oh wow my best friend might be losing his virginity and I am proud. I am proud and jealous. Why am I jealous? It’s stupid to even ask myself that question I’m just jealous because Bella wants to were a Chasity belt for the rest of her life.  
“What show? I don’t see anything.” Great, now she mad because they’re not there. So now she is going to pretend like she isn’t mad and act like everything is okay. Chicks man.  
“There was a show. Cas and Meg were over there dry humping each other. I swear they were.” Of course she says nothing, she just looks at me. “Babe I swear they were there dry humping each other. You just had you’re back turned.”  
“You were watching your best friend with his girlfriend but you weren’t paying attention to your own.” Okay maybe she isn’t going to do the passive aggressive thing. Instead she will take everything I say into turn it into something bad.   
“I was just curious to see how it was going and she isn’t this girlfriend.” I said that a little to sharp. Hopefully she’ll believe I am upset because she is mad at me.   
“Not yet anyway.” See she turn it into something bad. Why is that a bad thing? He can have a girlfriend. I have one. He should have one too, even if it is some stuck up demon bitch.   
“Okay she’s not his girlfriend yet, but what is going on with you?” Damn it maybe she see right through me. She always was smart.   
“I don’t know what you mean.” Has she noticed? Does she have an idea about what is going on in my head? I thought I was much better at hiding it.  
“Well I think you do. Ever since I got back you have been acting really strange. Has something changed?” Maybe if I play dumb she’ll drop it.  
“Bella nothing has changed. I know you think otherwise but I’m telling you I’m still me.”   
“Really” Okay now she is staring at me like she has some sort of microscope in her eye. I need to distract her. Yeah if I ask her to dance or make out with her, she drops it. So which one should I kiss her or ask her to dance. I think I’ll ask her to dance. I’m not in the mood to make out, but I do need to get that imagine of Cas out of my head.   
“Really”  
“Yeah, now come here” I say as I pull her small body to mine. I throw up against the wall and attack her mouth. I quickly slip my tongue in her mouth as she sucks on it. Kissing her is intense but I’m not into it. I keep thinking about kissing my friend neck rather than kissing her mouth.   
“Okay stop.” She says as she pushes me away. I’m relieved but I wasn’t into it but I thought I was doing a good job at faking it.  
“Why’d you stop?” I ask trying to play dumb. She probably picked up on my vibe. God I hope not.   
“You think I can’t tell, when you’re putting on an act.”  
“I wasn’t. I swear I wasn’t. Come on kiss me again.” I pleaded. I need her to kiss me again. She has to. I need to keep kissing her until it feels right again. I need to feel right again. I need to feel normal.  
“No.”  
“Please” I say holding my hands prayer style. She looks at me folding her arms. She is trying to give me a stern face but I can see I am getting to her.  
“Okay.” She says as she presses me against the wall this time. I actually like this. I like the fact that she took charge this time. It kind of feels right. She kisses me slowly. Our tongues wrestle for dominance but I eventually give in and let her control the kiss. It is starting to work. I feel the warmth I usually get from her spread through my body. I feel her body pressing against me. I am starting to imagine her taking off my clothes. I am starting to see her taking off my pants and lying on top of me. I am starting to see Cas press his on me. Damn it. I was so close.  
“Sorry.” I say as break the kiss.  
“See what I mean.” She says with a scuff. “You want me to think you are not acting weird but I know something is bothering you.” Maybe if I give her a half-truth than she’ll let it go. Wait I can’t do that. It’s weird and she’ll think I’m some kind of freak.  
“Maybe what is bothering me is you.” I yell.  
“Excuse me.”  
“You heard me. Trying to stand there and act all indignant. Stop trying to act like the problem isn’t you.”  
“OH I’m the problem. How am I the problem?” I think I hurt her. She looks like she might cry. I can’t take it if she does. No matter what I never want to hurt her.   
“I bought you to this party to have fun and all you have done is accuse me of acting like something is wrong. Well you want to hear what is wrong. The problem is you. Okay Bella there you go.”  
“No don’t try and flip this on me. You are the one who wanted to come here. You dragged me here. I told you to go without me but you insisted I came. So I did.” Now she is more angry than hurt. Why did I keep going? I should have stopped.   
“Yeah I thought maybe you could make some friends since all you do is hang around all up my ass all the time.” I yelled into her face. Once I stopped I realized what I had done. I just yelled at my girlfriend for no reason. I look around to see everybody looking at us, like we were some kind of freak show. I really should have stopped.   
“Well you don’t have to worry about me being up your ass anymore.” She says as she storms off. I know I should go after her but my feet won’t move. I stand there and watch her disappear into the crowd. I know she isn’t leaving. There’s no way for her to get home and she won’t call her parents since we are so far out. I’ll just give her a minute before I go talk to her. Plus I need to figure out what I am going to say to her.  
“Have you lost your mind?” a boisterous voice says behind me.  
“What?” I say as I turn around to see Gabriel standing there with two cups in his hand.  
“I said have you lost your mind?” he says as he hands me a cup.  
“I take it this wasn’t for me.” I say as I chug the nasty beer.  
“No it was for Jo but when I was heading back to her, I find you having a screaming match with your girlfriend.”  
“What’s it to you?” I ask. What is it to him? What business is it of his?   
“You could have gotten us kicked out.”  
“So”  
‘So…dude we are in another town. The cab isn’t coming to pick us up for another two and half hours.” He says looking at his watch.  
“I can wait outside.”  
“By yourself, maybe. I’m not leaving until it gets here.”  
“Why is it so important anyway? You act like you haven’t been to a party before.”  
“I have been to parties, but never one thrown by college kids. We aren’t supposed to be here. Meg cousin said we can’t draw attention to ourselves.” And there it is. Gabriel always has a selfish reason for doing shit.  
“Fine I’ll just stand here and be quiet until it’s time to leave.”  
“Shouldn’t you go after your chick?” He says point to where Bella disappeared to.”  
“Why should I? I was in the right. She should be apologizing to me.”  
“You’re an idiot. I didn’t see her yelling in your face. I saw you and I know if your cousin was here she’d do this.” He says right before as he smacks me upside my head. I should have seen that coming.   
“What the fuck?” I yell at him. “Do that again and I swear I will deck you.”  
“Oh so you can try to kick my ass but you can’t work out whatever that fight was about.” I swear I hate him at times  
“That wasn’t a fight.” Gabriel is starting to get on my nerves. I don’t want to talk to anybody right now. Yes I’m pissed and I don’t know why I am pissed but talking is not going to help.  
“Right, look you can talk about it with me or I can go get your cousin and I have an idea that all she will do is yell.”  
“Where’s Cas.” I have to ask. Maybe if I change the subject, he will leave. Plus he has been gone a long time.  
“Last I saw him he was going in a room with his date.” He says with a grin. He makes me sick when he does that. He always has to show that crest smile that makes him look like some kind of GQ model.   
“Why don’t you just leave me alone? Go back to my cousin. I hate for her to be alone at a party where she doesn’t know anybody.”  
“Alright” he said as he chugged his drink to walk away. “Oh” he says as he keeps his back towards me. “You might what to take your own advice. Bella is somewhere alone here too.”  
Stupid Bastard. Stupid pretty boy bastard. Was that his idea of trying to make me feel better or guilty? If it was then it didn’t work. He just made me feel more pissed  
I honestly don’t know what is wrong but I am standing here, not sure why I snapped at my girlfriend and all I can think about is where my friend is. I need to get my priorities straight. I need to find her. What do I say to her. Maybe if I explain it to her but I don’t explain it to her, she’ll understand. Okay that doesn’t make sense. Maybe I need another drink to think straight. I know I’ll find Cas and ask him. He should be done doing whatever by now.  
“ Dean” Speak of the devil. Here he is just when I was thinking of finding him.  
“Hey man”  
‘What’s going on? Gabriel said you were about to get us kicked out.” He says looking around.   
“No big deal. Bella and I kind of gotten into a fight and it was little loud. I say as I notice a purple looking bruise on his neck. Not to mention his shirt is inside out. Damn that evil bitch.   
“Apparently it was because he wouldn’t have interrupted me and Meg and it doesn’t like the sound of it either bu the sound of your tone.”  
“Interrupted. He interrupted you. What did he interrupt?” Like I need to ask. I know that bruise is a hickey. I wonder what else she was sucking on.   
“I’ll tell you later but now I need to know what is going on with you. Gabriel said I need to talk to you. So talk.” I wanted to talk to him but now I don’t. I don’t want to talk because I’m jealous again. I just jealous he is in there getting things I don’t get.  
“Forget it. Just go back to your date.”  
“She can wait a minute. Now spill.” He says as he looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes. Why’d they have to be so blue? Stop it Dean. Get it together.   
“Okay.” I can’t deny him. I just can’t. “We got into a fight. Actually I snapped on her.”  
“Why?”  
“She said I have been acting different since I got back.”  
“Have you” he ask as his body stiffens. I’m not going to tell him this. The person I could talk to is the one person I can’t talk to. If I tell him I risk running him off.  
“You know what. I’m going to go find her and talk to her” I say hoping he will leave it there and never bring it up again.   
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it first.”  
“Nah man.” I say as I hit him on the shoulder. “Get back to your girl. I’m going to go find mine.” I say faking a smile.   
I leave him there as I walk away as quickly as I can. That was a close one. I gotta stop. I got to figure out what I am going to say to her. Maybe I should just you know tell the truth. I can always tell her stuff. At least that is what she tells me and she doesn’t judge me. At least she acts like she doesn’t. She just listens and holds me and tells me things will be okay.   
It take me all of ten minutes to find her.  
“Bella” I say as I find her sitting outside in the cold. She is just sitting on the back steps watching a group of people hang around a bond fire.  
“Go away” she says wiping her face. Oh no. She is crying. I made her cry. I am a horrible person. I can’t stand to see a girl cry. It always looks so pitiful and I am the one who caused this. I have to fix this.   
“You shouldn’t be out here without a jacket. Come inside.” I say as I stand next to her on the step.  
“Why? So I can be up your ass again.” She says as I sit down next to her.  
“Get off of me.” She says as I try to wrap my arms around her. I can tell she’s cold. She is sitting there holding her body, trying to get some warmth from her purple sweater.  
“I’m sorry.” I say in a low voice.  
“I didn’t want to come here, but you asked me too. I give you your space and I say nothing. I say nothing when you want to hang out with Cas or any of your other friends. I am not up your ass all the time.” She says in a serious but sad voice.  
“I know” I say as she finally allows me to hold her. “I am sorry I did ask you come with me tonight and I have been acting different and I’m sorry for that. All you did was try and talk me.”  
“I did try to talk to you and if you are having a problem than you can tell me. I would never judge you or treat you any differently.”  
“I know.” I say as I rest my chin on the top of her head. I am such a dick.  
“So just tell me, so I can help you move past it.” I’m going to tell her but I still have no idea how.  
“Okay” I say as I take a deep breath. I hope she still cares and still wants to be with me after this. If I lose her I might really lose my identity.   
“I’m listening.” She says as she pulls away to look me in the eye.  
I need to just say it, but I can barely feel myself think over the pounding of my heart. Not to mention it is now in my throat. I’m afraid I might choke on it. Okay I need to just calm down and just say it, but once I say it I might never get to take it back. What if I’m just going through a phase? I might be sick and what I am thinking and feeling might be symptoms of a brain tumor or something.  
“Dean” Okay now she is serious.   
“Okay…….I have been acting different ever since you came back.” I look at her and she says nothing. She is just sitting there waiting. “Over the summer something happen…….and it kind of scares me.”  
“What does?” she asks confused.  
“Okay….have you ever felt one way about a person and it was what you were use too. The way you felt wasn’t a bad feeling. It was normal but all of a sudden one day you wake up and you feel something different.”  
“Different how?” okay now she looks scared.  
“Good different. What you feel is different but scary and it’s intense. That’s how I feel. I feel an intense feeling and it scares me but at the same time I like it. It’s starting to feel like a different kind of normal for me. My normal. Are you understanding what I am says? What I feel is intense, wonderful, and scary at the same time. You get it?” I have to ask because I’m afraid I’m not making and sense.  
“I do actually” Thank god she understands and she looks happy. “I feel the same way. I was just waiting for you to say it first.” She says as she hugs and kisses me.   
“You do.” I’m really confused.  
“Yes and I love you too, but you didn’t have to be a jerk.” She says as she smiles at me and gives me a playful push.  
Love, did she just say love. OH no, I didn’t think it was possible but my life just got worse. She loves me and I am having strange things happen to me. No, this can’t be happening. I think I’m going to be sick. What am I going to do? She loves me and I am not sure if I love her. Yeah sure I like having her around, and she makes me laugh and smile, and we get along great. She is always there for me when I need her. Okay maybe I do love her. Yeah I do love her and I know she will help me get over whatever is going on with me. I love her and not anybody else if I keep saying it will come true. Plus I do have love for her, it’s only a matter of time before I fall in with here.  
“I’m sorry for being a jerk. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”  
“Well tell me now.”  
“Will you come back inside?”  
“I sure will.”  
“Okay then Bella Talbot ”  
“Yes Dean Winchester ”  
“I love you”


	8. Chapter 7

December Chapter 7: Cas  
I usually hate Christmas. I have hated Christmas since I was nine years old. That’s year I like to refer to as the year without Santa. Rather I call it my first year without Santa. I use to love this holiday. My mother was really into it. It would be the day after Thanksgiving and she be dragging out our white Christmas tree. She never wanted a real one. She would tell us that it was silly to chop down a perfectly beautiful tree just to hang decorations on only to throw it out before it died. No she like faked ones because they last forever.  
My mother always had the biggest spirit. Every weekend we’d listen to Christmas music, bake cookies, cakes, go shopping. That is what we would do on Friday and Saturday, and on Sunday she’s make us go through our stuff so we could donate it to certain charities. Actually she made us do it all year, come to think of it. Still it was part of our Christmas tradition. My mother was the best and so was my father. He would be right there with us. That’s when we were a family, but then she died.  
“My mom died and it sucked. My father tried to keep her alive for us but he failed. He realizes the best thing he could do for us was to just move on but eventually move on meant move away from me and my brothers. But he made the decision of moving on the day after Christmas or maybe it was Christmas. I have no idea really.   
He did however tell me that I helped him get there. See right after my mom died my dad took me to see Santa. When I got on his lap, Santa asked me what I want for Christmas and I told him I wanted to spend time with my mom. Santa of course probably thinking she worked a lot, told me not to worry, she be there on Christmas. So imagine my heart break when I wake up to find all the things a regular child could want but not my mom. I cried that day. I think I cried all day. My dad and brother tried to comfort me but I wouldn’t let them. I crawled under my bed and refused to come out. It wasn’t until my aunt walked into the room with shoes like one’s my mom use to where, so naturally I came out thinking it was her. When I saw that it wasn’t her, my heart broke more. I just knew it was her. I just knew my mommy had come back to me, but she didn’t. I tried to run back under the bed but my aunt was quick in grabbing me. She put me down on the bed and held me until I stopped crying. Once I stopped, I told her what I asked Santa for. That’s when she left and had my dad come in and tell me that I would never see my mom again. I kind of hate my dad for that. Who tells a kid something like that on Christmas? He should have made sure I understood death when she first died so Christmas would just a jaded day now.   
This year though, I think will be different. For one my dad isn’t here. I love my dad and miss him a lot but I always hate him around this time of year and with him not being here I feel a little bit better. Does that make me a bad person? Second reason is because I think my mother possessed Gabriel . A couple weeks ago he woke and was in such a cheerful sprit. He is always cheerful but now it’s like he took a double dose of something because he has went a bit over board. One Saturday I wake up and he is blasting Christmas music, baking cookies and decorating the house. At first it was strange but once I saw the white Christmas tree I felt better. She always wanted a white Christmas tree never green. I think he feels the same way about my dad but I don’t want to ask him. We never talk about our mom. My third reason for being happy is because well we and when I say we I mean my brother and I are spending Christmas with Dean and Jo’s family.   
"Happy Christmas” my oldest brother Balthazar says as he hands us each our presents. It’s the first time in a month that we have seen him. He goes to school in the next town over. It’s the same school we attended a party not so long ago. I expected to see him there but of course he wasn’t there. In a lot of ways he is like my dad. So we don’t see him much. He comes home when he can but it’s usually just me and Gabriel as of lately.  
"Awl Balthazar you shouldn’t have" Gabriel says as he shakes the square box.  
"Gabriel is right. Thank you for getting us presents, it was nice of you but just having you home for Christmas is good enough." I say as I place my gift under the tree with all the gifts certain family who were too busy to visit sent us.  
“How could I not buy my little brothers gifts?” He says with his winning smile. People say we all have nice smiles but his is the best. His smile always makes you think you can trust him, but half of time you can’t. Well if you are Gabriel or me than you can but anybody else, well it depends but usually no. Especially if you are a hot female.  
“I don’t know, how can you leave your teen brothers unsupervised, when you promise dad.” Gabriel says as he sucks on a candy cane.  
“Are you actually complaining?” Balthazar asks. I am actually thinking the same thing. I never would think Gabriel of all people would have a problem. I certainly don’t. I like living like this but I would like to have my brother around more but I do miss my dad at times.   
“No I’m saying what if Dad pops up and see’s you’re not here. You know he only did this because he thought you’d be around more.” Gabriel says   
“Oh I get it now. You’re just being a little bitch.” Balthazar teases.  
“I am not.” Gabriel says as he sits up.  
“Fooled me” I added.  
“Right I’m the bitch because I am actually thinking ahead.” He says as we laugh at him. “If you guys don’t shut up, I won’t show you what I bought Jo and Cassie ’s boyfriend for Christmas..” He says causing us to stop.  
“Boyfriend? Did you and Dean finally get it together” Balthazar says as he looks at me. Why would Gabriel say that? Has he seen me checking Dean out. I thought I was being careful. I know I am bisexual but do they know. Do they know that and possible that I have a thing for my best friend. . I know it is a very stupid thing since he doesn’t feel the same oh and he kind of likes girls for sure. I know it’s stupid to want him but that’s why I got a girlfriend. I got a very pretty girlfriend who is easy. I never thought in a million years I get that lucky but hey, it’s nice to have some things work out.   
“Very funny” I say as I wonder if I should tell them. I mean it would change the tone of Christmas forever with us. And I know that my brother will be okay with it. They have to be, it’s just who we are. We accept people from all walks of life but would it be sudden.  
“Oh come on, you two spend a lot of time together, it’s fun to poke fun of. If I didn’t than I might feel left out.” Gabriel says  
“So and you are the one who keeps trying to get Jo alone. I’m just helping you out.”  
“I’m sure you are.”  
“You haven’t given up on her yet.” Balthazar asks in amazement. Sometime it’s sweet how much he chases after her and sometime it’s scary.   
‘Hey if you came around more you would know.”  
“Okay so what else have I missed?” This is my chance. It’s an opening to tell them. It’s now or never.  
“I’m bisexual.” I blurt out. I kind of want to take it back now. I should have thought about it some more. Maybe I should of made sure. I feel stupid now. How can one day I wake up and say hey I swing both ways and they be okay with it. Shouldn’t I be more on the fence about it? Why is it so easy to say? I guess I have my mother to thank for that.   
“What” they both say.   
“You know I swing both ways. I like vagina and penis, but I have only had vagina.” I don’t bother to mention Dean. I have no idea what to say about that yet.   
“Are you sure?” Balthazar asks  
“Yeah Really Cassie Are you? Like you just said you have only been with a chick. Have you ever been with a guy?”  
Now this is hard. Dean and I never talked about it and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want me telling people. But Balthazar is mainly at school so he could tell someone but what would they would care, but Gabriel . I don’t know. He has a habit of not letting Dean live stuff down.  
“Well have you?” Balthazar asks breaking my train of thought.  
“Yes.” I say a little uneasy.  
“Okay either you are lying or there is more to the story.” Gabriel says looking at me.  
“Look it doesn’t matter okay. Are you okay with me being like this or not.”  
“Doesn’t bother me.” Balthazar says sitting back.  
“Okay with you Gabriel .”  
“I don’t care but if you were gay that would mean more chicks for me.” He says laughing. Thank god I have such an understanding family. I know most people aren’t lucky enough to have it go so smoothly.  
“But I still wanna know who the guy is.” Gabriel asks.  
“What guy?”  
“The guy you did stuff with?”   
“Look I didn’t do stuff, we just kissed okay. End of story.” How does he know there was a guy?  
“Come one tell us?” Balthazar asks.  
“Oh would you look at that. Time to get over to the Dean’s house.” I say looking at my watch.  
You would think that would be the end of it, but no it isn’t. Balthazar saw I didn’t want to talk about it anymore so he let it go, but Gabriel . The ever so persistent Gabriel kept asking. I was ready to choke him by the time we go to the front door of Dean’s house. He’s lucky Ms. Ellen opened the door when she did cause if she didn’t I might be going to Jail for trying to kill my brother.  
Soon as I entered I said my season’s greetings to Mr. Bobby , Jo and Dean’s little brother Sam before I went upstairs to find Dean. I know it’s stupid but I couldn’t wait to give him his present. It took me a month to figure out what to buy him. I shouldn’t be this excited and I shouldn’t have a crush on him but I can’t help it. I want to make him happy.   
“Merry Christmas.” I say in my most cheerful voice as I charge threw his door. He doesn’t hear me. He has he back turned with ear phones on. He is sitting Indian style as he wraps his gifts on the bed. I want to go over and warp my arms around him and kiss him wherever he will let me but I refrain from doing so. Instead I walk over and tap him on the shoulder.  
“The hell?” he says turning around a little scared. He won’t admit it but I scared him a little.  
“Did I scare you?”  
“No” See I told you he wouldn’t admit it. It’s okay though. It’s adorable how he acts brave.  
“Sure” I say as I fall across the foot of his bed.”  
“Yo watch it. I have some breakable stuff here.”  
“Like what?”  
“Like candles for bought for Bella.”  
“You bought your girlfriend’s candles for Christmas.”  
“Yeah she’s into aroma therapy and what not.”  
“Isn’t that thoughtful” I teased but I secretly hope he put more thought into mine.  
“Shut up” he says as he hits me with a pillow.  
“Or I could just give you your gift.” I say as I grab the pillow and put it down. I then pick his gift off the floor. I put it there before I tap him on the shoulder.   
“Ummm” he says like he’s pretending to think about it. “I’ll take the gift “he says as he takes it out my hand. “What is it?” he says as he shakes the box.  
“Here’s an idea, why don’t you open it instead of shaking it.” I love our back and forth. I think that is what me and Gabriel have in common.   
“Oh is that an order.” He says as he looks at me. I wish he wouldn’t look at me. Whenever he looks at me I feel my face turn warm. I think might be blushing and I don’t usually blush. If I am I hope he doesn’t notice.   
“And if it is.” I ask trying not to get lost in his eyes.  
“Well then I might have to shake it some more.” He says as he starts shaking it some more. He is such a smart ass.   
“Hey” I say I as I try and wrestle the box out of his hand.  
“Stop” he says as I pin him down. I like this. I love being on top of him. A lot of my fantasy’s start out this way.  
“Say uncle.” I tease as I put my weight on top of him. I have his arms above his head restrained in my hands. He looks so sexy like this.   
“I will if you get off.” He says laughing as he wiggles beneath me.   
“That’s the whole point of uncle.” Truth is I don’t want to get off. I like having him pinned under me but this is wrong. I shouldn’t be doing this. I need to get off. My pants are starting to grow.  
“Okay Uncle.” I am both relived and sad that he said uncle.   
“Give me that.” I say as I snatch the gift from his hand. I roll over to the the right side of his bed as he moves to the left but I swear he is still close to my body. I might be imaging things.   
“I had no idea you were so strong.” He says as he sits up.  
“Well we did lift weights over the summer.”  
“True…. So are you going to let me open my gift or are you going to keep it.”  
“That depends.”  
“On what.”  
“Well let’s see” as I look at the gifts he was wrapping. They were once on the bed but now they are on the floor. “Are one of those gifts mine.”  
“Nope”   
“So you didn’t get me anything.” I pretend like I’m sad but I’m not really. I know he doesn’t have much money and might have spent the little bit of allowance he has on his family and girlfriend.  
“I didn’t say that.” He reaches over to get to his night stand. I have to behave because his reaching over me gives me a peak of his bare skin while I can smell whatever body wash he is wearing. I can tell is some kind of fruit, maybe melon. Must be it’s Jo’s. “I got you this.” He says as he sits back up.  
“What is it?” I say trying to take it but he snatches it back.  
“Oh no.” He says holding it over his head. “You’ll get yours when I get mine.” He has no idea what that could mean to me.   
I know it might be in my head but it kind of sound like he was flirting with me. This whole thing feels different and it is making me trying to bury my feelings harder. I know he isn’t flirting with me and I know that my feelings are one sided but damn it if doesn’t feel like something is here.  
“Okay how about you get yours first then I’ll get mine.” I say. Yeah in my head that didn’t sound right. That’s how I want it all the time if he let me.   
“I can do that or we could just you know at the same time.” He says. Even better. I need to stop now. It’s taking everything in me not to get hard.   
“I can do that.” I say handing his gift over.  
“Sike” he says as he sits on my gift and takes mine. I should have seen that coming.   
“My gift better not break since you got your funky ass sitting on it.” More like delicious. I really need to stop.   
“Yeah Yeah.” He says as he unwraps the gift. I wait on the edge of my seat for his reaction. Like I said it took me a month to find it and I ended up having to order it off the internet. I had to use my emergency credit card. My dad is going to freak but it’s all worth it if he likes his gift.   
“Well.” I asks when I notice he is just staring into the box.  
“Tell me this is a joke. Tell me that this is not what I think it is.” I think he might like it.   
“It is. Do you like it?”  
“Like, I could kiss you right now. How’d you afford this?” He says as he pulls the Vintage Super Nintendo out of the box.  
“That’s my secret. Just enjoy.” I say wishing he really kiss me but he won’t and I have got to accept that. He has kissed me before but not while sober. I would be disrespecting him and our friendship if I cross the line again. He allowed me twice while under the influence but I bet he won’t be so nice about it again. Plus I really don’t have that many friends.   
“Not only did you get me the system but you got me Super Mario All Star.” He says smiling at me. His smile just melts my heart. Damn it again. Maybe after today I can avoid him for a week. Yeah I’ll just do my own thing until we go to that New Year’s Party.  
“You’re Welcome.” I say but trust me I want to say and do more.   
“Thank you, but seriously how did you afford this? The game alone must have cost you a hundred dollars on eBay.”  
“Can you stop asking me about the price and just enjoy your gift.” I don’t want to talk about how I afford it. It doesn’t matter.  
“Fine but if you got me this I wonder what you got your girlfriend.” He says as he puts the game down and hands me my gift.  
“I got her something special.” I say as I open my gift.  
“Like what.”  
“Oh something she is going to love.” I’m lying. I got her a sweater from the Guess outlet in town. I admit I didn’t put much thought into her gift but it’s not because I don’t like her. I really do like her maybe not as much as him; I just don’t know her as well. We don’t really talk much when we are together. We just do other things.  
“So do you like what I got you. I know it’s stupid.” I almost forgot to look at my gift. I am just happy he likes what I got him.  
“No it’s not I like it.” I say as I look at the Dvd he bought me.  
“All four Pirates of the Caribbean on one DVD. I love it. It’s my favorite film series.”  
“Aww aren’t you two just the gayest.” I hear from behind us. I look over and see Jo standing there I wonder how long she has been there.  
“Jealous cause he got me an awesome gift and he and Gabriel probably bought you gift cards.” Dean says standing up.  
“Actually I think Gabriel out did him this year.” She says as she shows us her necklace.  
“He bought you that.” Dean says as he get up to walk over and taking a look at the white gold locket encrusted with diamonds. Of course she doesn’t know. Gabriel would never buy her anything cheap but never buy her anything too expensive to raise questions. We can afford better quality but we would never tell how.   
“Yup, it’s it beautiful. Of course he glued a picture of himself in there, so I can’t remove it. But I don’t care; it’s so pretty I’ll wear it anyway. I just hope he didn’t spend too much money on it.”   
“Why can’t your family just accept a gift? Can’t you just say thank you.” I say trying to get their mind off the subject of money. I know that their family is well off but they still try not to spend too much money.   
“Fine we’ll drop it. Right Dean.” She say in an over bearing mama voice.   
“Right.” He says that but I think if we keep spending money, more questions will arise. I should have a talk about how we should cut back.   
“Good”  
“Did you come up here for something or did you just come to show off your fancy new locket” Dean asks like he was a little annoyed she came in. Maybe I am just imaging it.  
“I’m sorry were you two making out, I can always come back” she says as she moves her fingers between Dean and me.  
“What did you need?” I ask before her and Dean starts going at it. They are close but that still doesn’t stop them from time to time at going at it.   
“It’s time for dinner.”  
“Fine we’ll right down.”  
“Fine.” She says giving us a look before she leaves the room.  
After she leaves a feel a feeling known as awkwardness comes over us. At least in my mind it is. He might not feel the same way. I know he doesn’t have the same thoughts as me.   
“So dinner time.” I say trying to break the awkward tension I’m definitely sure my mind has created.  
“Yup then after dinner we can exchange the rest of our gifts.”   
“Sounds good.” I say before we leave the room.  
The rest of the night is filled with me inside my own head. I swear


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Dean  
I’m a freak. I’m a disgusting freak. I can’t stop thinking about Cas in ways I should be thinking about my girlfriend. Sure I love my girlfriend… I think. She’s the sweetest smartest girl I know. I hear a lot of guys saying how sexy she is and wouldn’t mind taking a run at her. I am lucky to have her. I do really care about her and don’t want to see her hurt but why do I have to think about him too.  
I want things to go back when he didn’t invade my thought every five minutes. Problem is ever since I started thinking about him I can’t think of a time when I didn’t feel this way. Oh god what am I feeling. Okay now I am being dramatic. It’s not that serious right. I am Dean Winchester. I have a super-hot girlfriend who makes me laugh and my best friend name is Cas. See I’m normal. Everybody cares about their best friend a little more than other people. That’s why you call them your best friend.  
So if that’s the case, why can’t I stop thinking about Christmas? I can’t stop thinking about how he was on top me. He had his weight on me and I liked it. I liked it a lot. If he didn’t move when he did I think I would have gotten a boner. Okay I am lying I had a boner I wasn’t just that hard. It felt like that. It felt like all my blood was starting to leave my brain. I actually couldn’t think. But I could think, I thought about kissing him. Kissing him because he got me the best present I ever got, kissing him because his lips are so full and pink, kissing him because it might make me happy. Then I had to go blurt it out. I am so lucky he didn’t think much of it. That would have been weird if he had.  
Now if things didn’t get any stranger with me, I actually was mad that he went over a week without talking to me. It’s like I became some chick who started going crazy because her boyfriend disappeared on them. After he had Christmas dinner with us, I did see him at all. Whenever I called he never answered, oh but I did get a text. Very few worded text every few days. Every time I would ask him what he was doing he’d say he was with Meg. He was with Meg. What kind of stuff is that? I have a girlfriend but I make time for my friends. I manage to hang out with Gabriel and Jo this week. Of course not every day because I had to spend time with Bella but still I made time for my friends. Okay I am doing it again. I’m sounding like some crazy whiny chick. I have to stop. I should just be happy that we are all together now.  
It’s New Year’s Eve and we are at Gabriel and Cas’s house pre gaming before we go to this New Year’s Eve Party. Of course Cas invited Meg to come along.  
“Why are we drinking now? Can’t we drink at the party?” Meg asks in her stupid know it all voice.  
“Balthazar said we might not be allowed to drink. We are allowed to come to his friend’s party but he says there might be some checking Id’s at the bar.”  
“He’s eighteen. How is he going to drink?” Jo asks as she drank a shot of the disgusting brown liquor, Gabriel somehow manage to get.”  
“Fake Id beautiful.” Gabriel says. I was wondering how long it takes him to give her a compliment. He really can’t go a whole hour without telling her how beautiful she is and it has been an hour and two minutes. Yes I timed it. It’s the only way it becomes amusing.   
“Okay so how we getting in.” I ask.  
“He’s sneaking us in.” Cas says  
“To bad Bella could be here tonight.” Meg says. How dare she bring my girlfriend up? Who the fuck she think she is. Is she implying that I rather be with Cas and the rest of them than her. That bitch.   
“And what is that supposed to mean?” I have to ask. I don’t care if I sound rude.   
“Nothing I’m just saying. I really like her and it would have been nice to hang with her tonbight..” Does she think I don’t want to hang with her.   
“Yeah well I really like her too. In fact I love her.”  
“I’m sure you do. She is your girl.” She says with a small chuckle. Is she making fun of me? Is she trying to play me? That evil bitch!  
“Yeah she is my girlfriend and has been for a long time. Not like how you only been together with Cas here for all of five minutes.” There I told her.   
“What’s your deal?” She asks like I am offending her or something.   
“I don’t have a deal? What’s yours?”   
“I’m really not following.”  
“Oh don’t play dumb. You are trying to play me because my girlfriend isn’t allowed out on New Year’s. You think it’s so funny how I am the only who doesn’t have anybody to kiss at midnight.” She really has some nerve sitting there as if I am catching her off guard. Everybody knows that Bella dad is strict. She isn’t allowed do as much as most of us.   
“I didn’t say that. You are putting words in my mouth…… He is putting words in my mouth.” She says as she looks to Cas to defend her, but he hasn’t. He would go u against me. If anything he will take my side. It’s just what we do.  
“You didn’t have to. You said it with your body language.” I say trying to prove my point, but I will admit that everybody else is giving me a look of confusing and what the fuck?  
“Dean I think you need to calm down.” Cas says. He is trying to defend her. I don’t believe it. How can he take her side? I officially hate him now.   
“I am calm.” I say but I’m not. I am highly irritated mostly with him now. He has barely said anything and I am the most annoyed with him. It’s his entire fault really. If he didn’t bring the demon bitch then we would even be in this situation.   
“No you’re not. You are actually ruining the vibe.” Gabriel says as he tries to put in his two cents. Who asked him?  
“Who asked you?” I say out loud this time.  
“Dean you need to calm the fuck down.” Jo says.   
“Oh great little miss know it all has to add on. Why don’t you mind your business Jo?”  
“Dean stop it. You are getting upset for nothing. Meg did nothing or said nothing to you.” Cas says. He really is taking her side.   
“She is mocking me.”  
“Mocking you? All I said was it’s too bad your girlfriend couldn’t be here.” Now she is trying to make me feel stupid. Well I got news for you honey. It’s not gone work. She can pull that whole hurt person act on something else.   
“Right and in doing so you are implying that my relationship is a joke.”   
“I did no such thing.”  
“You lying bitch you did so.”  
“Bitch” She says offended. Okay now I know I really crossed a line. I shouldn’t have called her that at least out loud, but she is really bothering me by just breathing.  
“Okay now you have crossed a line.” Gabriel says standing up. “Dean you need to chill. Cas handle this. The girls and I will walk to the party and you two can meet us there.” He says pointing at me like I am some child who can’t behave. Fuck him too.   
“I have a name and it’s not this.”  
“No it’s just jackass.” Jo says as she stands up to put on her coat. Of course Gabriel is helping her put it on. Why doesn’t he just give it up already? He likes her but she will never feel the same way. Doesn’t he know is a lost cause with her.   
“I don’t want to go anywhere he is going.” Meg says.  
“Oh come on Meg. You can’t let this fool ruin your night.” Jo pleaded. I just love how these two are becoming friends. Soon they will be best friends forever.   
“Fine I’ll go but I don’t want him nowhere near me.”   
“Deal.” Gabriel says as he motions for them to head for the door.  
“I’m really sorry about this. I’ll straighten him out and then I will meet you there.” Cas says as he stands up to walk her out.   
“Hurry.” She says as she gives me a look before kissing him. I swear she knows what she is doing. It’s like she knows me seeing her kiss him bothers me.  
“I will. Promise.” He says as he hugs her.  
I hate her. I don’t get why they all like her. She isn’t that nice. Sure she pretends and fools everybody but I see her for what she really is. I see her for the black eyed demon she really is. I need everybody to get this.  
“Okay what is wrong with you.” Cas turns and says to me after everybody else is gone. He looks pissed and I kind of like it. His face has red spots and he looks like he is ready to smite. God what is wrong with me. MY best friend is ready to smite me and I just want to be smote by him in every way if you catch my drift. No stop it. I have to stop. I don’t want him in any way. That would be wrong.   
“Nothing.” Really nothing is wrong with me now. Now that the she devil is gone I am fine. I just wish she could be gone all the time.  
“Please don’t try and insult my intelligence. You disrespected my girlfriend, your cousin, and my brother.”  
“I did no such thing. I just called everybody on their bull.” I say as I folded my arms.  
“Are you seriously going to sit there and fold your arms and pout like a six year old.” Yup  
“You didn’t have my back.”  
“What” he says like I am frustrating him. He signs as he rubs his face. It’s really weird that I find this situation hot. I like pissing him off. “I did not have your back because you are wrong.” He says as if he is trying to be patience.   
“I am not wrong. She is wrong, she pointed out the fact that my girlfriend was not here.”  
“She isn’t here.” He yells just a little. Damn it’s hot. Damn it there I got again.   
“I know.” Now he is saying nothing. He is looking at me with frustration in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it before anything is said. I stand there holding my ground. I refuse to acknowledge I am wrong and he refuses to say I was right. Looks like we are at a standstill.  
“Okay if I am going to sit here and listen to you whine, like some chick then I am not doing it sober.” He says before he disappears to his room.  
Wait he called me a chick. I am not a chick. I am not whining I am just simply stating how I felt and refuse to apologize for it. Okay wait I am acting like a girl. Damn it. I’m doing it again. I am acting like a freak again.  
“Okay” he says reappearing with a wooden box. That’s the box he keeps his weed in. “Before you say anything I need to smoke this.”  
“Fine” I say as I turn my head to look the other way. I can’t smoke anymore. With the way I am feeling plus him being right next me and add on the drinks I have already had. I might do something stupid, like kiss him again.  
“Here” he says trying to hand me my own personal joint.  
“No thanks man.” I say pushing it away.  
“It’s not up for discussion. You need to mellow out; you pretty much ruined any chance of me having sex tonight. So you are going to smoke this whole joint and you are going to calm the hell down.” Wow. Is it weird I like how he told me what to do? His voice sounds demanding and controlling and it is sending chills up my back. I need to be smacked but only by him.  
“Fine” I say as I take the joint and light it. Maybe if I don’t inhale then I might have some control.  
“You will smoke the whole thing and say nothing until you have finished.” There he goes giving orders.   
“Yes sir.” There go those chills again. I wonder if he is like this with Meg. As bossy as she is, this probably his only way of release.   
So for the next fifteen minutes we sit there quiet smoking our joints, watching the smoke move through the room. I know I said I wouldn’t inhale but I did. It’s a habit plus I like the feeling of getting high.  
“You good” he finally says.  
“I’m good.” I say lying. I am actually freaking out. My heart is racing super-fast. I feel like it’s about to jump out my chest. I am fighting the way I am feeling but I feel like I everything is multiplied. I can’t take this, I have to get control.   
“Talk to me.” He says looking at me with those pretty blue eyes. I can’t figure out what shade they are. I know what shade Bella eyes are. There are grey. Just grey nothing extra about them. Her eyes are warm and kind but they don’t sparkle like his. OH god did I just say his eyes sparkle.  
“Dean” he says interrupting my inner freak out.  
“What?”  
“What happen?”  
“What do you mean what happen. Nothing has happen.”  
“So nothing has happen in the last week that would cause you to freak out on my girlfriend for saying something innocent.”  
“It wasn’t innocent.” The more I think about it. The more I realize it was innocent. She didn’t mean anything by it. She was just bothering me.  
“Did you see your dad?”  
“What does he have to do with anything?”  
“Whenever the subject of your dad comes up, you get moody, weird, and angry.”  
“I am not weird. Okay I am normal just like you.” I say a little too fast and angry.  
“Okay calm down. I am not saying that you are weird. Just some of the things you do can be weird whenever it has something to do with him.” He says slowly and patiently.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Okay now we are getting somewhere.” He says with a sexy giggle. Damn it I did it again. I’m not supposed to find his laugh sexy.  
“Can we go now?” I ask in a childlike voice.  
“Not until we get to the bottom of what is wrong with you.”  
“Isn’t this Jo’s job.”  
“Yeah but you kind of pissed her off too. So either you talk to me or you’ll be by yourself tonight.”  
“How? If I am at the same party as all of you.”  
“Yeah but I bet she won’t talk to you.”  
“Why?”  
“Okay I see this going to take a while.” He says as he grabs the bottle and pours us both a drink. “Here” he says handing me the glass. “Drink.”  
“Cheers” I say holding up the glass before I chug the nasty burning liquid.  
“Ready to talk” he says after I finish my drink.  
“There is nothing to talk about.”  
“Okay you say that but I don’t believe that.”  
“Okay why can’t you leave it alone?” I say angry he can’t move on.  
“If you don’t get over your issues about your father or at least work through whatever he has caused than we can’t go to the party.” Okay now I’m pissed.  
“Will you stop bring up my father and stop acting like you are him.”  
“So this is about him.”  
Why just why? Why is he doing this? I thought guys don’t sit and talk about their feelings. Why can’t he just leave it alone? I can’t tell him what is wrong without scaring him off. At least I think that is what. He is my friend and I can’t tell him I think about him in ways friends don’t and plus he is really asking me mad. I snapped on Meg so what. She isn’t right for him. Maybe I should tell him, but he is getting laid. I mean what ninth grader you know is having sex if I say something he might get mad and stop talking to me.  
“No this isn’t about him and while we are on the subject why do you keep asking me about my dad. Maybe the problem is your dad.” I say frustrated.   
He looks at me while he pinches the bridge in nose while inhaling. He looks like he is frustrated at me, but he says nothing. He looks at me again and takes another deep breath. He runs his hand from his forehead to his chin. I think he is getting upset. I don’t want him upset .  
“I don’t understand what my dad has to do with anything.” He says ever so calm.  
“Maybe your pissed he left you here in this horrible town. I know you have issues with your own dad. So why don’t you stop trying to make your issues my issues.”  
“Dean Maybe you should quit whiles you on a roll.” That sounded real serious.   
“Why?” For a minute it looks like he is going to punch me. I see I hit a nerve. Which is good because I am sick of him trying to talk to me?  
“Forget it okay. Let’s just sit here quietly and drink and watch one of the many New Year’s Ever Specials. He says as he flips on the tv.   
Finally he gives up. I feel bad for bringing his dad up. I know he has some issues with his dad and it wasn’t right I should apologize.  
“Let’s do that……and I’m-”  
“No more talking” he says cutting me off.   
I say nothing because I know I have been a dick tonight. What should have been an epic night between friends got ruined because I turned into a huge jerk? Maybe I should just be quiet until he is ready to talk again. Man for a dude he is real chatty like a chick so it won’t be long.   
So we sit there watching TV. I’m getting so drunk that I can’t even tell who is singing, or rather if they are singing or rapping. All I can here is the beat of the music. I feel it rushing threw my body uplifting every emotion. I want to lie down but I don’t want to sleep through the New Year. I ruined our chances of going to an actually party. The least I can do is wish Cas an happy new year. But he has other plans.  
“Okay it’s time for bed.” He says as he helps me stand up. I wish he didn’t do that. As I stand I feel blood rushing to my head and I become dizzy. “Careful” he says as he catches me. Now I wish he wouldn’t do that. The blood that once was rushing to my head is now rushing to other places. He has his hands on my hips as he helps me walk. His hands are kind of soft for a guy. At least I think they are soft. That could just be my mind playing drinks on me.  
“I can walk myself.” I slur as I try to break away from him, but he is stronger than me, soon as I break free he grabs me again pulling me closer to him.   
“Sure you can, but I want to make sure you don’t fall.” He says a little too close to me ear. Is he flirting with me. Does he know I secretly like him touching me?  
“Whatever.” I say as I notice he moves a couple of inches from me. His hands are still on me but the rest of his body seems so far away. I miss the warmness. Even though I only felt it for a second.  
“Okay here we are?” he says as he sits me down on his bed.  
I can’t see straight at all. It’s like I am staring at one of those pictures that is broken in different shapes. I feel like I can’t keep my head up but yet all I want is for him to be next to me again.  
“I am sleeping here?” I ask as he takes off my shoes.  
“Yes and I will sleep in Balthazar’s” room he says standing back up. I don’t want him to go.   
“Okay” I say as he pushes me back on the bed.  
“Night Dean” he says with his million dollar smile. At least I think he is smiling at me. It might be a frown. I’m not sure and I cannot tell from the sound of his voice.  
“Wait” I say as I sit up and grab his shirt with my fist.  
“What?” he says as he stands really still. He looks down at me as I look up at him. It looks like he is barely breathing. I might be making him uncomfortable but I don’t care at this point. Our eyes connect and all I want to do is feel his body on mine.   
I knew I shouldn’t have drank. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten high. I knew that I would end up doing this but I can’t help it. After feeling his body near mine for a brief second I want more contact.   
“Dean what are you doing?” He asks uneasy. I know he is uneasy. I know this for sure. Maybe I am making a big mistake but I have to go for it. I can’t stop thinking about it and being drunk only makes it worse. Maybe if I do it one more time, I will get it out of my system.   
“This.” I say as I pull him on top of me. I don’t know why but it was so easy. He just feel on top me. At first he freezes but soon his body is pressed deep into mine. He arpas his arms around me as we start to kiss. At first I am control but than he takes control as I swear his left legs moves up and rest across my body.   
Shivers and shocks are running through my body as are tongues dance together. There is something different about this than when I kiss my girlfriend. I mean kissing her is nice but I really like this.  
“Wait.” He says all of a sudden as he stops the kiss. He then says something to me I don’t understand. Kissing him added to my high and now I am completely lost I throw my hips up into him and he kisses me again as if his life depend on it. He stops the kiss again and says something but I still don’t know what it is.  
I just wait for him to stop talking before I say “Happy New Year Cas” as I place a small peck on his lips before I close my eyes and drift off into a deep sleep.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 10: Jo  
I live in a town where everybody has something to hide. I don’t get it. Why pretend to be something that you aren’t. Wouldn’t life be easier if you were just open and honest? That’s the question I want to ask most people but I don’t. I think it’s best to mind my own business. At least that’s what I thought, now I don’t know. See I always I loved the fact that I don’t have a secret. Yes I know I am only fourteen but trust me there are girls in my class that have things to hide. I’m not going to get into any details. It’s not my place to tell.  
See I never thought I had any secrets and I never thought my family had any. I always took pride in the fact that my family was open. I ask any one of them a question and they would tell me. That is how it used to be. Now I don’t know, at least when it comes to Dean. My cousin, the brother I never wanted and my friend. We use to tell each other everything now I find out he is hiding a secret from me.   
Why would he do that? This might sound selfish but because he wants to keep a secret it makes me have a secret. How does that make me have a secret? Well it doesn’t just give me one secret. It gives me two secrets. First I have to keep his secret which becomes mine by knowing and second I have to keep it a secret from him that I know. I rather just walk up to him and smack him. I rather just tell him to just come out with it, but of course I can’t do that. I have to be understanding and what not. It’s annoying. I don’t know about you but it is giving me a head ache. Why couldn’t he just tell me and to make it worse I had to find out from Gabriel. Can you say pissed off and offended.   
Speaking of Gabriel, I am sitting across from him right now. Day after news years he drops a hugh bomb sheel on me while I have my first hang over. Maybe it was my hang over maybe it was something else but I didn’t want to believe him when he told the truth. Turns out he was right. Things have been weird between Cas and Dean. He told me even after I told him he was wrong. It was just a mixed signal between friends, but he was right. I hate him for that. At first I ignored it but now it is starting to make the rest of us uncomfortable. But whatever is going on between those two has mostly to do with Dean. Cas has been acting cool and calm but Dean you can tell something is eating at him.  
“You know this is the best date I have been on so far?” Did he really just say that to me? Can we go one day without him being like this? Can’t we just be friends.   
"How bad are your dates?” I have to ask. I mean if having ice cream and pie at a local diner with a friend is better than any date he has been on. That has to say a lot. I mean look at him he is cute , I guess, but how can sitting here with me be better.  
“They are quite lovely thank you for asking?” He says with that annoying cute smile of his.  
“You do know this isn’t a date?”  
“You say it isn’t but I say it is.” If I didn’t know him I’d think he was some creepy stalker.   
“How?”  
“It just is. It just is.” he says with that million dollar crest smile. It’s not fair I thought people were supposed to be awkward and ugly in high school. How can he look this good? Imagine what he is going to look like in a few years.  
“Well it’s not.”  
“Why you gotta be so mean?” he says as he fakes heart ache. I can’t help but laugh. I know he tells me every day how much he wants to be with me but I have trouble buying it.   
“I’m just making sure you realize the reality of why we are here?” I have to point this out.   
“Ummm you finally decide to stop playing around and be my girlfriend and let me make you happy.”   
“No”  
“Whyyyyy” he says in a whiney voice.  
“Gabriel be serious.”  
“I am serious, why can’t you be.” Okay time to change the subject.  
"This past month have been awkward and I asked you to meet me here so we can figure out what’s the problem and fix it.”  
“I don’t know about that anymore.” He says as he puts a spoon full of ice cream in his mouth.  
“You don’t know. Last month you were doing everything in your power to get me on broad. You saw this coming and now you don’t know anymore.”  
“Yeah I mean why we should get involved.” Is he messing with me? Every day for the last month he has been trying to give me reason why I should ship all reasons Destiel. His words not mine.   
“Because it’s our friends and family.” I say.  
“Yeah but mostly your family.”  
“I know and we need to figure out his problem.” I say not really believing what Gabriel has already told me.   
“His problem is denial and Cas problem is fear.” He says as if it was obvious. Maybe to him but I really having been looking into it that deep.   
“Dean’s not in denial.”  
“Horse poopy.” He says slamming his hands down on the table in a dramatic fashion.   
“How do you not know that Cas was just and he kissed him and Dean being drunk was fighting him off and not humping him.”  
“You can’t be serious?” he says giving me a cold look. He has never looked at me like that before.   
“I am.” I say as I think about it more. Dean could just be acting out because he feels weird and doesn’t know how to brush off an awkward situation. He never was one to talk about things. It could all be Cas fault.   
“I see denial runs in the family.” He says in a serious hush voice. This is the first time I have seen him cut out the jokes. I mean he has had serious talks with me but this seems different.   
“Does not. Dean isn’t gay.” He’s not. I know it. I don’t have a problem with people being gay but I just can’t believe my cousin is.   
“And I’m not blonde.” He says as if.   
“Come on Gabriel how can you be so sure. Your brother might be into guys but that doesn’t mean that my cousin is.”  
“Okay I see.” He says in a condescending voice.   
“See what?”  
“I see that you need proof.”  
“Proof of what?”  
“That they have a thing and they really did kiss and what not.” Maybe he is right. Maybe if I see it for my own eyes then maybe I can wrap my head around it. No, there is no is no proof.   
“You might me right.” I say as I know I am right and he will be wrong.   
“Of course I am my cotton candy hair beauty. I’m not just beauty.” And we are back to jokes.  
“So how do we get proof?”  
“ummm” he says as he eats his food trying to think. “I got it.”  
“Okay.”  
“Go home and talk to him.”  
“About.”  
“I don’t know something that will press his buttons…… I got it Meg and how she and Cas be getting it on. Tell him how I was complain of all the noise they were making.” That’s stupid but then again it might work. Jealousy might work.   
“How is that going to help?” I have to ask. Just to make sure I am right.   
“He will get jealous that my little brother is banging her and not him.” Does sex just live at the front of his mind? God he can get on my nerves. He is so disgusting.   
“So what will that prove?” Some people might not care if the person they like is having sex with someone else. Sex and love can be separated. No it can’t. Who am I kidding?   
“Everything”  
“I don’t know.”  
“If he acts weird and starts trashing her than you have to go along with my plan.” He says like he is so sure. He is so smug at times. Cocky bastard.   
“What’s your plan?” Like how I asked while I ignore his cockiness. I know it drives him crazy. I am the only girl who can resist it.   
“If I tell you now then you will have no reason to call me later.” Now we are back to us. He just doesn’t give up.  
“Your plan is stupid?”   
“Then why don’t you just call me and I won’t suggest stupid plans.”  
“Forget me calling you okay. We don’t need a plan.” Now while I usually enjoy his banter right now he is starting to get under my skin. How does he do that? I hate it when he does that. He is the only one that can get under it.   
“Yes we do?” He says ever so calm. Like I am not getting upset and I am acting like a crazy person.   
“NO!” I say a little loud. I know it was loud because everybody actually stopped with they were doing to look at me.  
“Oh I get it. You don’t want to admit your cousin is gay or at least bi. My money is on gay though. I usually right about these things.”  
“How can my cousin be gay? You didn’t even know about your own brother until he told you.”  
“Are you sure about that? Maybe I always knew and I didn’t say anything until now.”  
“Cut the shit. You just found out at Christmas.” I know I might seem unreasonable but I really can’t buy into this. My cousin likes girls he always has and always will.   
“Why is it so hard to accept? Dean might be your cousin but Cas is my brother.”  
“So what because we are related differently it doesn’t really count as family or something.”  
“No that’s not what I mean.” Oh he is getting mad now. I see it. His face is turning red and he is up balling his fist. It serves him right for saying something so wrong. Dean isn’t gay he nerve showed signs. Aren’t there usually signs?   
“Then what do you mean.” I ask as I fold my arms.   
He doesn’t answer me right away. He takes a few moments to inhale and then exhale as he runs his hands threw his head. I hate tp admit it he looks kind of hot.   
“Why is it so hard for you to get it. Cas and Dean kissed three different times. What you are saying might be if it was one time but it was three times and from what I know Dean kissed him at least twice. In my book that means something. You might know if you let me kiss you. But now they are acting like morons. They are making everything awkward and I can tell Cas really is bothered by it. I just want them to talk. That is all but they won’t. I think that if we just get them to talk maybe they can move past it and things can go back to the way they were or they can have something wonderful I don’t know but I need my brother not bother by this.”  
“Things can never be the same.” I hate saying that. I can tell he wants nothing but the best for Cas, but I can’t lie to him. I honestly think that it was a misunderstanding.   
“Why can’t they.” He actually looks hurt. I know he has feeling and what not but damn.   
“Because they crossed a line, once that line is crossed there is no going back. You can’t just pretend it never happen. Especially if it meant something to one but not the other. How can you go back to just friends.”  
“Are we still talking about them?” Here we go back to the subject of us. Why can’t he have a one track mind,   
“No” Okay there was a little something behind that. He said one word and it was powerful. Dare I say it but it was hot.   
“Look if they try and fail at least they know. You can’t go backwards but they might still be able to hold on to a great friendship afterwards. It’s just all about how you handle things.” Now I am thinking he has a double meaning but if I don’t say anything then he won’t either.   
“I’ll think about it.” I say as I quickly leave the diner. It was time to leave. I think he was seconds away from exploding on me and for whatever reason I don’t want that to happen. 

After our talk I decided to take the long way home so I could clear my head. I just had one the most confusing conversations ever and I don’t know what to do. Two things keep going around in my head. One is Gabriel is right. Is there something more to this non fight between Cas and Dean? The second is him always hitting on me. I hate that he does it. People think I like him but I’m not sure. There are times I think I do then there are times when I don’t believe him and so I don’t like him.  
Gabriel might talk a good game but I can’t take him serious. I know we are only in high school but he is too immature for me. Plus there’s the fact he says he wants me but he is hooking up with a different girl every week. I can’t take him serious because of that and the fact that it’s only my looks he seems to like. What about my personality, does he think I’m smart or funny? I never hear him say that. I think he just wants me because I am the only girl to have turned him down so far.  
You know what I can’t think about this now. Cas and Dean need my attention, but Gabriel’s idea is stupid. There is no way I can talk to Dean without him getting cagy. I don’t need to talk to him. I need to talk to Cas. Maybe if I hear it from him I can really wrap my head around everything. Yes that is what I will do. I will talk to him. Cas wouldn’t lie I don’t think at least I don’t think he will, plus I have a pretty good bullshit detector. I get that from my dad. He can call bull a mile away.  
Okay I am getting ahead of myself. I will talk to him but only and if only I observe some more weird behavior from him or my cousin. When I say weird I mean I will look for signs. I will spend the next couple days watching their every move. Okay that was creepy. I will see how they act around each other. I will even switch my seat to the back of our history class. I will watch Dean alone with Bella and I will watch how he is when it is the three of them. Wait I can’t do that. Bella doesn’t have our lunch. No I got it. I will watch how Dean acts when Meg is around. I will see if he really hates her or is he just jealous and lastly I will just watch them. Yes that is what I will do. I will do all of that on top of my homework. Damn I really have a busy week ahead of me. Better get home and get started.

 

Gabriel was right. I repeat Gabriel was right. I am so glad he isn’t here to hear me say that. I have spent the last four days really paying attention to the people around me. I have to hand it to him, he really notices things. I am actually shocked at the things I witness. Now to the average person not really caring they wouldn’t notice but the things I witness could be missed if you were watching them close.  
So you might me wondering what I notice so I won’t waste any time. First thing I noticed was Dean and Bella. Now before I get started let me say this. I do not dislike her. Some people think I do, but I don’t. I just never thought they were a good match. I guees in hind sight it it obvious why but I never knew why until now. I never really took a look at them until Last Saturday.  
Last Saturday was the day I was with Gabriel at the diner. After I kind of stormed out of there again I took the long way home. See in this town you can pretty much walk anywhere and I did. I walked home. Once I got home I walked in on Bella and Dean sitting on the couch with a bunch of space between them. What guy sits spaces away from his girlfriend when they have the whole house to themselves. I know for a fact that my parents weren’t home. My parents were way on one of their of so secretive hunting trips. They never say much about just they are going hunting. So of course that was a red flag after knowing what I know. When I say this I mean Dean and Bella not my folks.   
I didn’t just want to jump the gun. I pretended like I went upstairs but I really didn’t. I sat at the top of the stairs watching them watch TV all damn day. I figure maybe they were in a fight but they weren’t. She tried making out with him a few times and a few times he did. I could tell he wasn’t really into it. Besides he tried to make a bunch of excuses. One was his mom and dad could walk in at any time. I knew that was a lie. He knew their schedule just as well as I did.   
So after that, I was kind of convinced but I needed more proof. So Monday came and I watched Dean and Cas at lunch. Can you say awkward but that would even begin to describe those two. They kept making eye contact but quickly looking away. Anytime Meg touched Cas Dean would tense up. Sometime his leg began to shake. I mean there were clear cut signst hat is if I haven’t made myself clear to them. Watching them was like painful. I can tell there is something there but I don’t know if they know it yet. I can’t deny it anymore. My cousin is gay. I say this because I also watched him when other girls would walk past. You know the girls in tight jeans, tight shirts, or low cut shirts and or skirts. He did nothing. He was more to focus when guys walked by but I don’t think he noticed. Yes Dean is gay and I don’t know how I feel about that.   
So I am kind of ready to accept the truth about Dean but I am not sure about Cas. Yes he has some type of feeling towards Dean but he is still with Meg and she is my friend also. I can tell that he likes her too, but not as much as Dean. I cannot try to set him up with Dean or whatever Gabriel has in mind if he is serious about her or even with her. It wouldn’t be right. So I have to talk to him first. I just hope it’s not weird since he hasn’t exactly told me he is bi. But I have to talk to him; I have to know his side at least before I can decide on what to do.

So I am here. By here I mean Gabriel and Cas parentless house. Man they are lucky. I would love to live in a house where only parents checks in by phone once a week. Their dad never comes to check on them. Well it is kind of sad when you think of it but hey, I’m not them so I don’t know how they feel.   
So back to me being at their house. I am not here to see Gabriel. I am here to talk to Cas. I’m standing outside his bedroom door. Not really sure I am ready to go in. Hell I don’t even know if he is home. They keep their front door unlock. That might seem unsafe if you lived in a big city but the worse thing is a door to door sales man when you live here.   
I have no idea what I am going to say to him, Do I come right out with it or do I build my way up to it. We are friends and we should be able to talk about anything.  
“Jo” he says as he walks out his room and right into me.  
“Hi Cas.” I say trying to force a smile.  
“This isn’t a bad time.” I say as he stands to close for comfort.  
“Kind of is.” he says as he takes a step back and looks at his phone. He looks upset. Maybe because it has some to do with Dean. “I was on my way out. Gabriel isn’t home yet.”  
“My bad but I need to talk to you.” He says as he looks at his phone again with a sense of emergency.  
“You need to talk now.” He says this as if there are more important things.. What in his life could be so important?   
“Yes”  
“You can’t talk to Gabriel because I know he will be home soon.” He says as he double checks with himself to make sure he is right.  
“You’re Bisexual and I want to know why you never told me.” Yes I blurted it out. I didn’t see any other way. I had to he would have walk away from me if I hadn’t.   
“I see Gabriel has told you. Can’t say I am not surprised.” He says as he opens his bedroom door for us to walk inside. “So I guess he has told you everything.” He says as we walk into his room.  
“That doesn’t matter. I just want to know why?” I say as I sit on his bed. I have to know why? I have to know why he hasn’t told me first and fore most.   
“Look” he says taking a breath as he looks at his phone yet again. “Can this wait until tomorrow? What is wrong with him? If he assumes I know everything then he must know about Dean.   
“No” I say as I folded my arms. If I didn’t know any better I say he was trying to get rid of me.  
“Jo I would love to talk about this but I can’t right now. Maybe if you give me a couple hours.” Says as he ignores a call on his phone  
“I know about you and Dean.” I know I shouldn’t have said anything but Ihad to blurt it out and I am glad I did. I see I have gotten his attention.  
“What do you know?” he asks a little scared.  
“Everything, Gabriel didn’t hold anything back.”   
“I’m not surprised” he says as he rolls his eyes.   
“So are you ready to talk?”   
“Fine” he says as he takes one last look at his phone before he places it on his desk and sits down next to me.  
“So we are going to talk.” I ask.   
“Yes.” Is the last thing he said before we entered the most honest conversation I ever had? I have no idea what we are going to do about Dean and him at this time but at least I know his side of the story.

**Author's Note:**

> . Hope you enjoyed. Sorry for the errors. Please stick with it to the end. I promise it gets better as it builds. Please review and let me know what you think


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